Discovering your true self is an ongoing process that starts from the day that you can contemplate and ends the day that you cease to exist. Who you are and who you aspire to be wasn't just built in a single day but took time, effort and a lot of self-discovery. So imagine how hard it must be for your child, who is still barely getting to understand their surroundings, let alone their self-identity. This is where you, as a parent, come in. You have to help your child understand what true identity is and help them embrace their true identity. If you struggle with knowing where to start, then we have the right resources that you can make use of.
Educate Them
You can't expect your child to embrace their own true identity when they don?t even know what having an identity is. The first step that you should, therefore, take is to educate your kids on what one?s identity is and how it affects them as well as guides them through it. You can do this by using their favourite cartoon characters and pinpointing what each character's identity is composed of together. You can now transfer that same strategy onto your child and educate them about their identity.
Create A Safe Environment
It's very easy for children to feel unsafe due to their vulnerability stemming from age, height and size. You should, therefore, ensure that you create an environment where all these vulnerabilities are not important and where they can feel unjudged and open. This will help them to get in touch with what they lie about, without you influencing your ideas on them. This safe environment will also encourage independent thinking, which will help them get in touch with their true nature and share it with you in a safe environment that supports their thoughts and feelings and where they will feel validated.
Encourage Exploration
Your children still have a boatload of things to see and a ton of things to experience. They are not yet exposed to many things in the world, and if you do not encourage this exploration, they might become close-minded individuals. It is, therefore, important that you expose them to as many things as you can so that they know what they like and do away with what they don?t like. Whether it's sports, travelling, games or food, allow your children to explore. This will help them understand the things that they like, making room for them to embrace their true identities.
Set Realistic Expectations
One problem with parents is that they set the bar too high for their child, making the child feel overwhelmed and in turn, leaving the parent disappointed. When you do this, not only are you imposing a standard that is not aligned with who your child is, but you will also be confusing them while at it. If you, therefore, have the best interests of your child at heart, groom them to the best of their abilities and, of course, direct them towards a path that yields fruitfulness. However, don't set too high expectations in fields that their true self is not aligned to. Leave room for their abilities, strengths and wants to clear things up and help them discover themselves.
Encourage Acceptance For Diversity
If you want your children to embrace their true identity, you, therefore, need to cultivate an accepting mindset. The truth is, as much as you want them to be their authentic selves, you don't know what this is and, therefore, may be one of the million diverse identities that exist in the world. Your child should, therefore, feel that you are open to whoever they truly become, and the only way you can do this is by accepting diverse groups yourself.
Stand By Their Choices
As difficult as it may be, there is a certain age when children can now make certain choices for themselves. As long as that choice is not destructive of term or life-threatening, allow it. Whether it's about what they want to study, their fashion sense, the way that they want their hair to be done, or the people that they want to befriend, ensure that you support their choice and, even when you don't agree, offer a fallback plan if anything goes wrong. Supporting your child's choices, even when it means that they will make mistakes on the way, will help with their personal growth and allow them to understand themselves even better and discover what they truly want to do and who they want to be.
Foster Resilience In Them
Embracing one?s true identity requires resilience to back it up. This is because not everyone agrees with your choices and on occasion, you may even be attacked for it. If you, therefore, truly want to stand by your choice of being the person that you are, you need to shield yourself by being a resilient individual. This is exactly what you should teach your child and prepare them for by preparing them to become more resilient and to help them stand up for themselves more.
Use Constructive Criticism
If you severely criticise your children, chances are that they will just end up adopting the identity that you assume for them to avoid conflict and clashing of heads. You, therefore, need to slow down on being overly judgmental of them but, instead, only offer your input when it is constructive towards what they have chosen for themselves. This way, you will help your child build towards the identity that they see for themselves, instead of destroying it.