Every year, there are occasions that people just love celebrating with their families and other relatives. Thanksgiving is one of those occasions that makes people prepare extravagant or simple dishes to enjoy with everyone.
However, not all occasions go smoothly. Mistakes and accidents might occur, and they could either end badly or with a laugh. Nevertheless, people always try to have a good one the next year.
1. The Healthy Pee
My mom dominated the conversation about how everyone should be drinking their pee for a solid 45 minutes. She read in some yoga book about how it cures some infection called "Bali belly" that you get in places like, you guessed it, Bali.
But also that it's actually just really helpful for all sorts of crap. She went into detail about how you have to catch it midstream of the first pee of the morning.
By the end, she was defending it so thoroughly that she said she was going to start tomorrow morning. She never did and now denies the conversation lasted more than 5 minutes and that everyone was egging her on.
MyElectricCity
2. Worst Trick
My cousin tried showing us "the boot trick." It was a way to get the cork out of a bottle of wine without a corkscrew. You put the bottom of the bottle in your shoe and hit it against the wall, and it's supposed to get the cork out.
He gathers us all outside to show us how it works. We're all standing in my aunt's driveway to see the trick. We were somewhat thrilled.
Upon hitting the wall, the entire bottle shatters, and his shoe is soaked in red wine. I guess that's pretty mild. My family gets along pretty well.
CecilWeasle
3. Grandma’s First Time
My grandparents had a new oven, and my grandmother had never made a turkey in it before. The turkey drippings somehow caught fire, and the kitchen filled up with smoke.
We called 911, but by the time the fire department arrived, my dad and grandfather had put out the fire. So, when the firemen arrived, there was no more fire.
They were really nice and understanding. My grandmother was mortified. My drunk aunt tried hitting on all of the firemen even though she had a good 25-30 years on them.
My cousin and I just stood in the front yard drinking beers in silence, watching it all play out. Fortunately, the turkey was fine, and dinner proceeded normally once everything settled down.
Sp4ceh0rse
4. Emergency Room
My mother and grandmother had plans to go to a restaurant last year, but my sister convinced them to go somewhere else at the last minute.
Of course, this means no reservations, but my sister is convinced that it'll be fine and they might just have to wait a few minutes for a table. I live in another state, so I get to experience all of this from a distance.
They end up sitting at the bar while waiting for a table, having a few drinks and appetizers. After the 2nd round of martinis, my mother looks over, and my grandmother is leaning back in her chair, completely limp and unresponsive.
Everyone freaks out, paramedics are called, and Grandma is rushed to the ER. I was 1,200 miles away when my mother called to tell me what happened.
At this point, Grandma is at the ER, still unresponsive, with crazy low blood pressure and high heart rate. I'm ready to book plane tickets and rush to the airport when Mom calls back, "Don't worry, everything's OK. Your grandmother just got drunk."
Her blood test came back completely normal except with a BAC of 0.24 (3x legal limit). She was awake now, so I got to talk to her, and she was crying, "I'm so sorry, I've ruined Thanksgiving." I assured her that she hadn't ruined Thanksgiving and that everyone was just happy she was okay.
So my grandma is 90 years old, about 4'8", 100lbs. She hadn't eaten anything all day because she knew they were having a big dinner.
She also ordered another martini while no one was looking, so the 2nd martini was actually her 3rd. This turned into the perfect storm of a really drunk grandma.
dalgeek
5. Bird On The Floor
This Thanksgiving would be special. We invited somewhere around 25 people (normally, it would've been 12), and everyone arrived.
Naturally, my mother bought a seriously large turkey and had it slow cooking all day. It was going to be the highlight of the day, and everyone was looking forward to it.
Fast forward, the turkey is out of the oven and is being carved. It looks and smells delicious, and the table is set. Everyone's sitting down at the table, passing around mashed potatoes and talking about whatever.
My mom is bringing the turkey from the kitchen into the dining room. She drops the turkey platter. It shatters, and turkey and porcelain shards litter the floor.
Thankfully, most of the turkey was salvaged due to the 5-second rule. Some of us had shards of turkey platter on our plates, but it wasn’t a big deal. The turkey WAS as good as it promised to be and is sometimes mentioned as the legendary floor bird.
KevinNoy
6. Pressured Aunt
Aunt opened the pressure cooker without releasing the pressure first. It went about it as well as you can imagine. Gosh, it was a DISASTER.
I’m not sure what she was cooking, but the pressure release was a little rubber nipple-y thing on the top, and there were clips on the outside that kept the lid on? I was around 11 when it happened, so I wasn’t spending much time in the kitchen.
She just got burned. No serious/long-lasting injuries. Her... I guess he might have still only been her fiancé, drove her to the hospital. She was home the same day and not allowed back in the kitchen for a while.
AtlantisLuna
7. Wrong Button
Mom bought a new stove and had me, my brother, his very pregnant girlfriend, and a few others over for Thanksgiving. Not that much.
So, my mom checked on it about half an hour before the turkey was supposed to be done. Well, she was about to be surprised. And us.
It was still raw. She had hit the wrong button when programming the new stove and accidentally shut it off. Luckily, we learned you can, in fact, microwave a turkey.
Why? Judging from the look my brother’s pregnant girlfriend gave, she was ready to eat my mom. It's not surprising the turkey was a bit dry, but otherwise, it's not bad.
LibrarianSerrah
8. Transparent Glass
I spent all day cleaning the house for the guests and made sure the windows were incredibly clean and clear. A job well done for me.
Little brother and cousin were chasing each other outside. Brother comes running through the door, which was clearly open because you couldn’t see the gla- uh oh.
He slammed through the plate glass window and got a massive gash on his face and leg. 80 stitches, plastic surgery, and a multiple-day hospital stay. Don’t clean your windows too well.
[deleted]
9. Caught Redhanded
My cousin stole a four-wheeler from a police dispatcher and left it in our yard. Told us he and a buddy would come back later to get it cos it was out of gas.
Mom sent me to Kroger that morning, hoping they had pie shells, and called me when I was driving back, warning me not to speed cos police were all over our road. (We lived on a farm, a mile-long country road. We were the only house on it.)
The police took our statements and retrieved the ATV. We didn't have chocolate pie because Kroger is gonna be out of frozen pie shells at 8AM on Thanksgiving morning. What were you thinking, mama?
life_inabox
10. Accidentally Saved
My 4-year-old sister was sitting at the dinner table next to Grandma. After taking a bite of something, she said, "My tongue hurts," Grandma replied, "Well, come here and let me kiss it to make it feel better."
The moment their lips touched, my sister vomited directly into Grandma's mouth. My dad bursts into laughter, and Grandma passes off my sister while she gets up to go clean up in the bathroom.
Lo and behold, not more than 5 seconds after she left, a 2 square foot chunk of the ceiling caved in and fell directly onto her chair.
MiNiX97
11. Lost Moment
My great-grandmother died at the table right as we were bowing our heads to pray on Thanksgiving. She had been slowly dwindling in health, so the whole family gathered together, figuring it was her last Thanksgiving.
Little did we know how right we were. Her kids, their kids, and their kid's kids, the family she hadn't seen in years, about 20 people all gathered around with her pushed up in her recliner.
Food is stuffed on the table, and we bow our heads to pray (she was devoutly religious) before we dig in. As we raised our heads and opened our eyes, we found great-grandma slumped over.
As someone started compressions and another person called an ambulance, my youngest cousin dug into her meal, completely unaffected by the dead body. Anyway, it's a nice memory for Thanksgiving every year.
Holyitzpapalotl
12. Worst Taste
So, 25 years ago, my son was born in early Nov. My mom's family is all prim and proper. So, my adopted brother takes my 2-week-old son to check his diaper during dinner.
He then comes back with the diaper in hand, saying it doesn't look right, and proceeds to smell it, told something is wrong.
So he tasted it. Everyone is flipping out. Turns out he filled a clean diaper with pumpkin pie filling, and it was hilarious.
fordfan289
13. Burning Day
I was probably six or seven at the time. My mom’s candles caught the kitchen curtains and some decorative greenery on fire.
My sister, my cousins, and I were at the “kid’s table” in the kitchen while the adults were in the dining room, so no one of significance noticed anything except me.
My mom threatened us with the pain of death if we annoyed the adults during dinner, so I quietly walked to the dining room and stood silently for a minute or two.
Not until someone noticed me, and only then did I politely say, “Sorry, but the kitchen’s on fire.” My mom still gives me grief about my prioritizing politeness over sense.
LOTR4eva1
14. Too Much Happiness
I was having a farting contest with my cousin in the bathroom. She let out one of those ones that ended in an upturned squeak like her arse was meekly asking me a question.
I lost it and threw my head back in laughter, and when my head came back down, it was into the granite countertop, at like 127 mph. I split my forehead open and had to go to the ER for stitches. But wait, there’s more.
In the ER, one of the nurses asked how I cut my forehead, and I told her I was laughing at a fart. She laugh-farted in response. I was 11, so obviously, it was the funniest thing that had ever happened to me.
Anyway, I’m 30 now and still have that stupid scar right between my eyebrows. Sometimes I remember how I ruined Thanksgiving like 20 years ago, and then a nurse farted, and I laughed.
Dirt-McGirt
15. Horrible Throw
My oldest sister called another sister "a fat witch" over some stupid fight they’d been having for years, who then, in turn, picked up the bowl of green bean casserole and threw it at her.
She missed it. Though it wasn’t that far, I guess she was really angry, and that messed up her aim, and it ended up hitting my mother's favorite painting.
It wasn’t salvageable. We all stopped having Thanksgiving with the entire family after that. That ruined everything.
SexySolemates
16. Last Moment
Last Thanksgiving was absolutely the worst. My extended family lives in another state, so it was just me and my parents.
My mom was pissed at my stepdad for various reasons, so she stayed in her room all day. My stepdad and I awkwardly ate in silence while watching The Godfather.
Then, after dinner, he had a heart attack. He died in the hospital a few days later. My mom was crushed that he was gone and crushed at how she treated him in their last few days together. That was last year. I'm not excited to see what this year brings.
Moonalicious
17. Insensitive Decision
I'm leaving for basic training the day before Thanksgiving this year. So, my family celebrated on Sunday. My mom and stepdad were supposed to stop by.
Well, they live an hour South and have a cabin an hour north. They planned to drop by on their way home. Well, 6 pm rolls around, and they still haven't shown.
It turns out that my SD decided that he didn't want to go to my uncles' and instead wanted to meet us at my grandparents.' Which he never told us.
So he just drove right home, denying my mother her last chance to see me before I was gone until February. I'm honestly still pretty angry.
MortallyCrafty
18. Spilled Milk
Thanksgiving at my my aunt and uncle's. My grandparents are there as well. It was in Calgary, AB. We lived in Regina, and my grandparents lived in Kelowna. Pretty close to a full day's drive, especially for a vacationing family.
My cousin was kind of spoiled and a very bratty attention craver. We are at the dinner table, and she is sitting in her chair, kind of dancing and flailing her arms everywhere while singing.
My father says to my grandfather, “I'll bet you all the change in my pocket that glass of milk goes flying.” My aunt gets pseudo-outraged by this and tells my cousin to keep going.
Sure enough, milk goes flying. My grandfather reached into his pocket and handed all of his change to my dad. My cousin immediately started crying and ran upstairs, and my aunt and grandmother chased after her.
We sit there in awkward silence for a minute or two, and my grandmother comes downstairs. She is burning red like the fires of hell.
Looks at my uncle (her son) and exclaims, "Keith, your wife just spit in my face, Alfred, we're leaving." They packed their bags up and left home to drive 8 hours back to Kelowna, and we did the same thing to Regina. No one spoke to that side of the family for nearly a decade.
Wilibus
19. No Food
My family had a Thai exchange student during Thanksgiving one year. Thanksgiving is huge in our family--35+ people at dinner, tons of food, appetizers out the wazoo, etc.
This was going to be her first and only Thanksgiving, so we really played up how exciting it was. We told her that there was going to be a ton of food, so don't eat a big breakfast! Save room for the amazing Thanksgiving food!
She ended up not eating anything at all on Wednesday or Thursday morning and fainted in my uncle's living room on Thanksgiving day.
She hadn't even eaten any appetizers--turned out that she didn't know what that word meant and didn't know she was allowed to eat the food that was spread out all over the coffee table and bar.
We almost had to take her to the emergency room because her English wasn't quite good enough to explain why she fainted, and we thought something was seriously wrong. After all that, she ended up not even liking the food.
ostentia
20. No Next Time
It's not like a crazy story, but my uncle was dating this lady who was super fake and acted like she was faaaamily from the beginning.
She kept asking to host a holiday, and my mom, wanting to be friendly, said she could have Thanksgiving because that was my mom's holiday to host, and she wanted the girlfriend to feel included.
We all go there, and the house is filthy. I'm talking big clumps of old dust bunnies right out in the open all over the place, living room, kitchen, hallways, just everywhere. Smells like a garbage can.
I have to use the toilet, and I go upstairs to where she says it is. Laundry everywhere. But I get to the bathroom, and it's caked with mold and a mountain of garbage, makeup supplies, and just crap piled on one of the two sinks in there.
The toilet was white with black gunk caked into the sides. I held my pee. She also ordered food and served it to us on styrofoam plates.
I don't need it on nice plates, but lady, you BEGGED for a holiday and then didn't do any hosting. We never went to her place again.
googletoldmeto
21. Stopping Mockery
I have 3 sisters, all much older, 9, 13, and 15 years older, so they were always far ahead of me in life. They all had families and children, etc., well before me. I cannot have children, which they did not know.
We are at the Thanksgiving table, and things are tense ... because they are nasty witches. I am just waiting for an insult.
Well, they start in on me about having children, and I say my husband and I are in the process of adopting. My oldest sister says, "That is not really having children." I punched her. I don't regret it.
newbieprogrammer2
22. Wrong Assumption
I was eight and hanging out with an older family friend. She was about 13. We were actually just having a good time, and it was nothing more than that.
Well, for some reason, my very drunk and high aunt thought that this family friend was turning me against my cousin (her daughter) and burst into the house screaming at her about this.
Then, said aunt got into a fistfight with another aunt in the front yard. Yeah, we stopped seeing that side of the family for a while.
yelyah66
23. Bended Knee
I was younger (maybe 10), and my sisters and I were chasing each other around the house. I ran into the bathroom, slid on the floor, and dislocated my knee.
I screamed when I saw my bone pointing the wrong way/out of my kneecap. 911 came, and I took an ambulance ride to the hospital, where when a doctor tried to relocate my knee.
It was done by straightening out my leg and snapping the bone back into place. My drunk father told the doctor he’d “freaking end him” if he hurt me. Would not recommend it.
hahaeh
24. Red Robe
I was around 5-6 years old. Us kids were playing hide-n-seek, and I hid way in the back of Grandma's closet. While I was hiding back there, I found this beautiful deep red robe.
I assumed it belonged to my grandfather, who died just after I was born. I tried it on, and it was huge on me, but the silk felt really smooth and cool, so I decided to go ask my grandma if I could have it to grow into.
Turns out Granddad was a Grand Dragon in the Carolina KKK, and it was his ceremonial robe. The family members who hadn't known about this already were highly upset.
The ones who knew were embarrassed as heck. There was a small riot when I walked into the kitchen wearing it. That was an awkward Thanksgiving.
Northsidebill1
25. Wrong Target
Played paintball with my family. My uncle has a receding hairline, which left a portion of his head exposed just above his face mask.
I took a shot that nailed that portion directly in its center. It was such a perfect shot that it made a circular cut in his scalp, which proceeded to bleed.
He was fine, but now he has this faint ring of white scar tissue in the center of his head that you can see in the sheen of the light glinting off his head.
to_the_tenth_power
26. The Lizard Tape
Used to live in Florida. When I was younger, my Grandpa had the deep fryer out on their back porch, preparing to deep fry our turkey.
A lizard climbed inside where you would light it and got stuck. My grandmother was screaming at my grandpa in front of all our family that he could not end it.
We ended up eating just the sides everyone made. My dad, in true dad fashion, filmed the entire event, zooming in on the lizard for the majority of the tape.
MomoBTown0809
27. The Actors
I was somewhere around 10 to 12. There was a brush fire in the field next to Grandmother's house. Small fire some 100 yards away, but everyone panicked, not knowing how quickly it would spread, and hell broke loose.
So there's My dad sprinting towards the side of the house, pick axe in hand, shouting, "Dig a trench!!!! DIG A TRENCH!!!!!!!" Then, digging a small hole with the lock axe that would have stopped nothing.
Then he pointed and turned to my uncle, yelling, "THE HOSE!!!!" "THE HOSE!!!! Turn it on!!!!" Then, my uncle grabbed a hose and started running toward the field. But, the hose is connected to nothing.
Grandfather, looking on calmly, turns to my dad and goes, "That hose ain't hooked up. I need someone to fix it for me." Chaos continues on the side of the house; meanwhile, a 2-year-old gets left alone on the porch in the pandemonium.
So we're all watching the fire, and finally, my cousin goes, "Where's (my sister's name)?" So then many people freak out and sprint back in panic to the porch to grab the kid.
All the while, my dad pickaxes the ground like a madman, yelling, "Dig a trench!!" Ended with everyone except those digging a trench crying and laughing their arse off as the fire dept pulled to up take care of business in all of about 20 seconds. The fire never came even remotely close to the house.
SaltySpitoonReg
28. Mommy’s Hair
My mother's side of the family joined us at Thanksgiving. Mom, as usual, made homemade rolls. So, I'm eating one and notice one of Mom's long black hairs in it. So, I started pulling it slowly out...and pulling...and pulling.
By the time I stopped, almost all conversation had ceased, and one of my cousins piped up, "Notice how the roll seemed to fall apart after jimmypagesguitar was done?"
The joke after that was that you could find a little bit of Mom in everything she made for dinner. Only that day, it was literally true.
[deleted]
29. Act Like Nothing’s Wrong
My dad had an allergic reaction to a shrimp cocktail before dinner, and his face blew up. He refused to come out of the kitchen or sit at the table with us.
He was just eating his food in the kitchen and trying to act like things were normal, like yelling out, “Hey, good mashed potatoes this year, huh?”
Meanwhile, my mom is anger-crying at the table, telling us to just eat our freaking food that she worked all day on. All of us kids are just very scared and very confused.
My sister starts crying because things are so weird, and no one wants to eat because there is so much tension. Eventually, my mom convinced my dad that she needed to take him to the ER.
My high school senior-aged brother took the bottle of wine and shared it with seventh-grade me and got me drunk for the first time. My parents came home to me throwing up on the bathroom floor.
Skr000
30. Mom’s Memory
One year, I got so drunk the night before that I was severely hungover and sick on Thanksgiving Day, so much so that I had to bow out and not go to my parent’s house where the family dinner was happening and just stay home.
Something which my mother has given me crap about every single Thanksgiving dinner since. I’m sure I’ll hear about it again on Thursday.
It was 22 years ago, Mom. I can hold my booze much better now, so give me a god darn break. Can’t believe she still holds a grudge about it.
VictorBlimpmuscle
31. The Older Sis
The first time my now fiancé met my older sister was Thanksgiving. She brought two bottles of wine to dinner and proceeded to drink both of them to herself.
My Sister threw up on the table during the meal, started screaming and crying about how “judgy and rude” I and my little sister are, and passed out on the couch before anyone had even gotten up yet.
My mother cried. I was humiliated, and my dad thought it was hilarious. Oh, and she tried to sell my fiancé a substance earlier in the evening. Safe to say, we don’t see much of each other outside of holidays.
ldeee203
32. The Guy’s Chicks
Thanksgiving 2009 was a crap storm. My family was visiting my father's side for Thanksgiving, and things went fine until dinner.
A cousin comes home with three girls wrapped around him. One of the girls is about 7 months pregnant. So my uncle is all pissed and lectures him about making the right choices and some other stuff.
The pregnant girl drinks a lot of wine, and everyone becomes drunk. Lots of yelling and fighting occur, and my family is just observing this chaos.
Tears are shed, and the pregnant girl leaves with the other girl, leaving one girl with my cousin. They make their way to the bedroom and make out. Ever since that day, we have never gone back for Thanksgiving.
ami2weird4u
33. Dark Foods
My Mom was in the hospital, and my Dad was supposed to buy propane for the gas stove. Instead, he drank up the gas money and then tried to cook the Turkey & fixings in the coal furnace.
Of course, he was drunk-cooking, and all the food was blackened, still uncooked, and covered in coal ash. I still remember the smell of charred Turkey & coal.
We were not religious, but one of my brothers mumbled grace before we ate. Something like "Dear God, protect us from this food." He was chased from the table. I'm sure he paid dearly for that comment, but he didn't have to eat. Totally worth it.
Antsy38
34. Dad’s Words
Last year, my parents were discussing my younger brother, who's in college and wanted to take a gap semester. They were concerned because he already wasn't showing much focus, and they were worried that if he took a gap semester, then he would never go back.
I tried to reassure them by reminding them that I, like him, really hated college the first time I went. Still, I went back a second time and had more drive and focus because the second attempt was based on my desire to improve myself rather than just trying to please them.
And my dad very calmly and casually said, "Yeah, well, you're not exactly the role model we want him to emulate." Uh, I wasn’t shocked.
And that was pretty much the most savage thing my dad ever said to me. Thankfully, I had already known for quite some time that I was the black sheep of the family, but to hear him say it so bluntly was unexpected, and I basically stormed out without another word.
Panhead09
35. All Hell Broke Loose
Our dog and the smaller dog we’re fostering are pestering my mom all morning while she’s making the turkey. To distract them while we eat, she gives each of them a chew bone (not from the turkey).
We’re ten minutes into dinner when the foster dog steals the other dog’s bone and gets a nip to the ear for it. Suddenly, the house is a horrible scene. Blood splatters the walls as he shakes his head constantly, bothered by the steadily dripping ear.
He’s small, and we keep trying to catch him, but he’s diving under the table and behind furniture, all the while dripping blood across the house.
I finally grab hold of him and try to apply pressure with my hands, a napkin, and a towel- we try to tape a bandage to his ear, to no avail.
I’m covered in blood, the house is a macabre Jackson Pollock painting, and my mom runs to the store to get “whatever they have to stop bleeding.”
We put the foster dog in a crate to try to contain the blood and start to clean up the floor. It’s then we realize my mom’s then-boyfriend is still at the head of the table, calmly eating his Thanksgiving dinner.
delusivelight
36. Loud Mouth
I can't remember if it was the same Thanksgiving or multiples. But my cousin very quietly told me he'd got a piercing on his private part of some sort.
One of my aunts saw we were talking quietly, & her being loud & obnoxious made a big deal about it. She started yelling about us talking & found out what we were talking about.
She started tattling to her sister, my cousin with the new piercing's mom. About how he's got his private part pierced & his mom just said, "It stopped being my concern once he was potty trained."
& my grandparents had separated earlier in the year. My cousin, with the previously mentioned piercing, asked Grandpa how he liked being alone & not having grandmaw around.
It was typical at 1st & somehow, it got to my grandpaw complaining about being tricked/ convinced into "marrying the 1st thing he banged.” I was 15/16 years old for all of this.
Ma_mumble_grumble
37. Back Off, Mister
We found out that my mother-in-law's new boyfriend was anti-military when he initiated a shouting match with my dad, a retired career Marine, just after dinner.
Most of us were standing around the kitchen chatting, and they were peacefully playing ping pong on the back patio when a sudden hail of epithets and curse words made us all run to the window.
We were all stunned, except for my MIL, who rushed out the back door and dragged the boyfriend through the house, still yelling, and out into the driveway.
She told him he couldn't talk to her family that way, broke up with him right then and there on the pavement, and sent him home without any dessert.
I'll always remember that because it was the first time she called me "family," that wasn't in the context of asking me to do her a favor. This means that it was the first time she called me family, and I felt like she really meant it.
impendingwardrobe
38. Too Unwell
I felt sick, so my dad gave me a pill that contained a very large dose of dextromethorphan. Turns out I don’t react well to it.
I proceeded to spend an hour in the bathroom throwing up. My dad didn’t notice because he was too busy dealing with a woman who kept calling his phone and yelling at him in Italian (a language none of us can speak).
I was miserable the rest of the day, and he was irritated by the repeated phone calls. Still not the worst Thanksgiving I’ve had.
CitizenSquidbot
39. Little Bud
Walked into the garage with my dog and a casserole. My dad's champion show dog came galloping out to meet me, let out a death scream, had a heart attack, and died.
Tried CPR for ten minutes. It was clearly dead. He went inside saying what did (me) he did! Grabbed a bottle and left. Oh gosh.
I picked up the dog and went around to vet clinics for one that was open; the one that was just said yes, he’s dead. I’ve never recovered. It was also my birthday.
bldyjingojango
40. Busted Trick
I invited my girlfriend over for Thanksgiving when I was in high school. We slept together for the first time the night before.
During dinner, she abruptly shouted out, "I'm pregnant, I took a test this morning, and it's positive. I told you condoms don't work." There was a lot of yelling.
I don't remember what all was said, but my older brother knew the night before was our first time, and he yelled at her that if she's testing positive, it can't be mine.
She argued for a minute, but once my older relatives realized what had happened, they all started calling her a liar, and she eventually left.
She even switched schools after that; apparently, she was pregnant with someone else's kid. No matter, though, I've felt like the black sheep at every family get-together since, and I have heard the story retold every year for the past 16 years.
WillLie4karma
41. Total Chaos
A couple of years ago, my brother-in-law set the oven on fire. He had pulled the turkey out of the oven to check the temperature.
It still had a ways to go, so back in it went. Except he pushed the pan, not the oven rack. It tilted back and spilled grease, which caught fire in a most spectacular fashion.
Roaring flames. Smoke. My two-year-old nephew and newborn niece are crying. My sister, my ex-girlfriend, and one of my brother-in-law's daughters from his first marriage take the kids outside.
My mom, being the quick thinker she is, gets the fire out quickly without having to use a fire extinguisher. The kicker? The turkey was still undercooked when all was said and done.
Davetek463
42. Auto Pilot
Our crappy oven went into self-cleaning mode and locked itself somehow while my mother’s turkey she had worked so hard on was inside.
The oven then turned itself up to about 500 degrees to begin the cleaning process and almost burned it to a crisp.
After realizing what was going on, my mother began pounding on the glass and yelling like she was watching a living person being cremated.
Fortunately, my father was able to jimmy the lock open with a screwdriver. The oven wouldn’t turn off, so we just left the door half open and let it finish cooking.
The turkey had a nice crunch on the outside that year, and needless to say, my mom was able to convince my dad to get her all new appliances for the following Christmas.
eoc1998
43. Smashed Cars
Giant family gathering. The host's house is right alongside an extremely popular street that has a speed limit of 50 mph. We're eating turkey when we hear a large amount of slams & car alarms.
We go outside to see that all of our cars are completely trashed. Our family's car was at the end because we were late. Therefore, we only had a small dent and a lot of scratches.
However, out of our family's 11 vehicles, only 2 were able to be driven. The rest were totaled. We found out a couple of months later that one of the host's friends got completely drunk & decided to drive his large 4x4 Ford truck and slammed all of us.
The host never told the police and "forgave" the drunk driver because he was a close friend. He hit my grandpa's van so hard the roof was curved inwards into a giant V.
Komaki_Parry
44. Grandpa’s Trace
I was about 8, and my sister was 14. My grandpa was making the stuffing and cut himself pretty badly. My dad had to take him to the hospital.
My mom finished making the stuffing. Dad and Grandpa make it back home in time for dinner. Grandpa's finger is all wrapped up. Dad said it was a pretty deep cut.
We proceed to eat dinner. About 1/2 way through, my sister spit her food out, and there on the plate was the very tip of my grandpa's finger .. a little slice of fingernail included.
My dad didn't realize my mom had used the stuffing my grandpa had made, so I saw no reason to upset people and tell them my grandpa had cut off his finger...
feministmanlover
45. The Picky Eater
Growing up at the large family Thanksgiving, I was a picky eater. So lovingly, a bowl of green jello was made for me. Over the years, that bowl of green jello showed up, and over the years, my tastebuds changed, and I no longer needed it made “especially for you.”
Fast forward to my first small Thanksgiving with just my wife and I in my first house. I sit down at the table with a big grin on my face and happily say, “Finally, a Thanksgiving with no green jello made especially for me.”
At that exact moment, my wife puts down a large bowl of green jello and says, “Your mother called...she said you loved it...” Yeah, right.
ubadojw1