The prospect of having someone to share the rest of your life with is very exciting. It is more than just pretty clothes and a celebration; it is the beginning of an important journey. This is a chance to build a life with someone you cherish and entrust yourself to. Exciting right? However, this isn’t a decision to rush into or take lightly, as it will affect you for the rest of your life. You have to make sure that you ensure that this next step is the step you need as well as the right step for you. Before saying “I do," here are a few things to consider!
Values and beliefs
A man’s values make him a man. We are all just an accumulation of our values and beliefs, and however we act, relate, and uphold ourselves is based on our beliefs. It is important to ensure that your values and beliefs are aligned before getting married. Your plans and actions are based on those values. If the differences are things you can compromise on, then you can talk about how to act when you reach a situation in which you have different values beforehand. However, if your values and beliefs are different, this will eventually catch up and show in your relationship. If values and beliefs are not aligned, maybe you should rethink saying, “I do.”
Respect
People inherently deserve respect. Being respected has an impact on your self-esteem and sense of self-value. Respect for one another is what makes us okay with our differences and perspectives. However, if there is no respect, settling conflicts and differences and even having different perspectives is unbridgeable. Mutual respect is needed if you want a fulfilling marriage where love and peace thrive. Without respect, the relationship is not worth it. Essentially, if you and your partner lack respect for one another, you might want to reconsider before saying, “I do.”
Family
Our families are an important part of us. Through socialization, they contribute to who we are, and through association, they will continue to be a part of us. Due to this, you have to be open enough to share all important details about your family, including family dynamics and their level of interference. If any of the family values, dynamics, and traditions do not align with you or your partner, you should reconsider saying “I do," because unless you come to an agreement and a strategic approach, this will always affect you.
Background
As much as we may want to deny it, our background shapes our future. What we went through, what we did, and what happened to us shaped us. It is, therefore, important to know your partner’s background. This entails knowing all their baggage and being lightweight. Make sure you ask everything about your partner’s background and that you are aware of everything concerning them so that it does not affect you in the future if their background affects you, and if it is something you want to disassociate with, no one will force you to say ‘I do’. If your partner does not accept you because of your background, then you surely do not want to marry them as well.
Money Issues
Financial issues are a big matter when it comes to marriage. This is because you will have shared resources and expenses as well. Make sure you discuss money issues and assess whether your partner’s finances are aligned with what you want for yourself. If money issues are likely to be a problem, then you must reconsider before saying yes.
Life Goals
Does your partner intend on having a family of their own? Are your goals that are aligned? Does your partner support you? All these are questions that you need to have answered before I do. Every one of us has a purpose that we need to realize and fulfill in order to live a fulfilling life individually. You need to know your partner’s life goals and see if they involve having you in them. You also need to assess whether you can support those goals or not. Vice versa, you need to know if your partner can support your life goals. If there is no compromise and no middle ground when it comes to such an important aspect, then maybe you should reconsider before saying, “I do.”
Degree in Communication and Conflict Management
Communication is an everyday activity. For you to understand each other and be on the same page about things, you need to be able to communicate efficiently. How you communicate matters. If you and your partner are unable to communicate well, then you should work on it. In the end, if it is something that can’t be worked on, then you should reconsider before saying I do because you definitely cannot live without it. You should also be able to manage conflict well. Regardless of differences, you should be able to find a way to manage the differences you are faced with and the conflict you are in. Since conflict is inevitable, it is important that you can manage it effectively. If communication and conflict management are things you struggle with, you may want to reconsider saying, “I do.”
Expectation Alignment
Discussing what you expect from each other is important so that you are on the same page. Is this a business marriage? Is this a monogamous marriage? You need to get into the details of what you expect so that you hold each other accountable. This includes expectations concerning the roles that each of you expects from each other. By discussing your expectations, you can assess your compatibility. You are also able to understand if you can live with the expectations that your partner has for you; this prepares you for the life ahead. If, however, your expectations are something you cannot compromise on, then maybe you should reconsider before saying, “I do.”.