Some people are cautious while starting new relationships, while others rush in. Fast-paced relationships may be thrilling and passionate, but they can also be warning signs of something more dangerous, such as the frequent use of love bombing by narcissists and other toxic people.
While experiencing love and starting a new relationship can be exciting, love bombing is usually not honest. In fact, the relationship ends up being the polar opposite of your expectations and you can find yourself suffering.
Here are some red flags and patterns to watch out for, as well as suggestions for what to do if you believe you are being love bombed.
What is love bombing?
As a kind of psychological and emotional abuse, love bombing entails someone going overboard for you in an attempt to sway you into a romantic relationship. The impulse to manipulate people is a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
People who have narcissistic personality disorder are overly self-absorbed and indifferent to the needs and feelings of others. Although they lack empathy, they can pretend to be sympathetic, especially if it will get them what they want. Although anyone can fall for this trick, there are some people who are especially susceptible to it.
People with low self-esteem, people-pleasers, those who grew up in narcissistic households, and those who have had traumatic experiences in the past are common targets for love bombers.
In this stage, your partner showers you with excessive affection in an effort to entice you and persuade you to lower your guard.
It can initially appear too wonderful to be true or too simple to be taken completely by surprise.
The second step of devaluation starts once the initial period of "love bombing" is finished and the person is genuinely in love, obedient, and invested in the relationship.
Devaluation can occur as a result of withholding love and affection, insults, gaslighting, projection, and holding the target responsible for all of the narcissist's issues.
When confronted, your companion may try to dodge responsibility by refusing to collaborate, make concessions, or end the relationship.
You might feel lost, bewildered, or as though you have no way to make things right after this.
In this phase, the narcissist tries to stay in touch with and close to their partner. Using various manipulative techniques to get them back into their life, or making what appear to be real apologies.
They could make an effort to prove how much they have changed, declare they will never find someone as good as you, or purposefully draw attention to their increased availability.
Red flags to look out for
Everyone appreciates praises, but if your companion is blatantly overdoing it and giving you constant praise, this might be cause for concern.
Love bombers utilize this strategy to make your sense of value and self-worth dependent on their judgment.
Isolation From Friends and Family
The desire of your new partner to be with you always may appear endearing at first.
But more often than not, it's a warning sign: The person might be a narcissist trying to isolate you from your other relationships in order to gain control.
They bombard you with gifts
Love bombers sometimes barrage their companion with lavish gifts because they want to be recognized for their generosity and attentiveness.
At first, this may seem like the ideal setting, but if they feel their actions are not being sufficiently appreciated, they may switch to control, criticism, erratic conduct, or even retreat.
They introduce you to important people early on
Love bombers may immediately introduce you to individuals who are significant to them, such as children, relatives, or close friends.
Several factors could be at play here. This might give you the impression that the relationship is soon becoming very serious.
Over-communicate their love
Someone who enjoys dropping love bombs routinely enquire about your activities while they are not around. They will overcommunicate their feelings for you or inquire as to where you are.
They may even go too far at times by oversharing their feelings for you online in an effort to get the world to recognize your relationship.
They expect a lot of attention
Love-bombers' primary objectives are to make people envious and get attention and adoration for themselves.
They demand to be acknowledged, praised, or adored, therefore they show their expectation by offering presents, praises, and unjustified affirmation of the connection.
They guilt trip you for having boundaries
A love bomber might get upset and guilt-trip you if you set a boundary such as asking them to move slower in the relationship, or if you tell them you don't feel ready to say "I love you" back yet.
They can’t take ‘no’ for an answer
When someone says no, they really mean no. However, if you try to set up healthy boundaries or tell a love bomber that their behavior is not acceptable, they are likely to argue back, challenge your reasoning, and even persuade you that you were wrong to say no in the first place.
They want to move in together ASAP
Although sharing a home is an exciting stage of a relationship, it usually happens after determining compatibility and shared values.
However, in case of love bombing, moving in so quickly may be more motivated by a desire to invade your entire life than a genuine desire to begin a life with you.
How to get out of toxic relationship?
Being love bombed may leave you feeling torn, frustrated, and bewildered. It can be hard to leave an abusive partner, particularly if you are emotionally tied to them or even support their behavior.
Take a step back from the situation and look for help. Think considering discussing your situation with close relatives and friends, as well as a therapist. Do not give up if you are experiencing love bombing or if you are worried about an existing relationship. A therapist can assess the situation objectively and offer advice accordingly.
Discuss your worries with the person you're dating in a neutral setting after you've had time to consider the relationship. Prepare for the likelihood that things will not go as planned. The next phase is to develop the ability to spot narcissists in the future and avoid them. The best way to accomplish this is to be conscious of your own weaknesses.