1. Learn To Share
Today on the train I sat next to a woman who was angry that I sat next to her because she wanted the two seats to herself. As I sat there she kept mouthing under her breath how she just wanted to sit there alone... blah blah blah.
Despite the fact that I wanted to tell her that it was public transportation and she needed to get over it I kept my mouth shut. A few minutes later a large woman with a large purse comes and stands in the same car I was in. I get her attention and tell her that she could have my seat.
She huffs and puffs her way to me and I help her sit down while grinning at the angry woman who was upset I'd sat beside her. I enjoyed watching her head almost explode from anger as the other large woman's rolls and purse pressed against her for the rest of the ride.
Obieousmaximus
2. Champion Of The People
I watched a lazy shopper park their grocery cart right behind another persons car instead of putting it in the cart return. I got out of my car, ran up and moved the cart and put it behind her car.
I then ran off and watched her have to get back out of her car since she couldn't back out, and then finally proceed to put up her cart the right way. I felt like a champion of the people.
Eljesus
3. High On The Coke
Years ago I was in a cinema with some friends watching a horror film, can't remember which one. Anyway a couple of boneheads behind us thought it was really funny to yell 'Boo!" in the tense parts and generally ruin the movie for everyone around them. I had a large, and by large I mean bucket, of coke, the next time bonehead 1 yells "Boo!" I throw up my hands in shock and dump the whole bucket of coke in his lap.
I turned round to apologise and saw him sitting there stunned and soaked, coke dripping off the brim of his cap. I nearly gave myself a hernia trying not to laugh. I swear he made squelching noises as he walked out.....(wipes a little laughter tear from eyes)
Deleted
4. Next Time Play Nice
I work at a retail location that does returns strictly only with tags on the clothes. There was one customer who was exceptionally rude to our staff. She called both women working dumb witches, which pissed me off.
She came up to the register telling me she'll probably return all the things she's buying and is just trying to impress her friends. So I took all the tags off the clothes when I was bagging everything. I bettered the world that day.
Wehopeuchoke
5. Don’t Mess With People Who Handle Your Food
I knew a girl that had a woman who was VERY rude multiple times demanding LIGHT ice. Apparently "light ice" wasn't good enough for her and she threw the cup at the cashier berating her for being such an idiot she couldn’t even get something as simple as "light ice" right.
She made a new cup, put four ice cubes in it, and pressed the button to fill for the appropriately sized cup, leaving about 1/3 of the glass empty. Then said "Sorry, the machine still fills the cup the same amount, regardless of how much ice." Manager backed her up.
VJohns11
6. Glazed Donuts
This guy walks up to my work and asks "Hey, kid, where the heck is Voodoo Donuts?" I'm twenty seven, he swore in front of a child nearby and was loudly smacking his gum.
Instead of sending him to Voodoo donuts which was only a few blocks away, I gave him directions that would lead him under the Burnside Bridge where the homeless, the prostitutes and the drug addicts congregated.
WIENER_POOP
7. Not So Fast
Years ago, my friends and I used to go race our cars at a local racetrack (by local, I mean two hours away). On our way home, we would usually form a convoy of up to nine cars, all following each other and sometimes having fun going for short races when the lanes opened up.
About 20 minutes away from town, a douchebag driver decides to weave in and out of traffic as well as start cutting people off, some of which were drivers from my group. We gave each other the heads up, waited for the guy to get into the middle lane on the freeway and proceeded to box him in. Since this was a major freeway with at least three lanes, we managed to box him in with eight cars - three up front, one on each side and three behind. Then we all slowed down to less than 35 mph and drove that speed for about 10 mins.
He was rightly pissed. We let him go after we got bored toying with him.
HarshlyThrownAway
8. Highway Karen
The other day we were coming home from bowling and we got behind a truck in the left lane, and next to a Maserati with a Karen in it. She gets in the turn lane and decides not to turn, so as we all slow down for a stoplight she suddenly jerks over without signalling or anything in front of this truck, missing him by a few inches and acts like it's his fault.
There is no one in the right lane so the guy in the truck gets on the middle line and peels out when the light turns green so he can cut her off just the same. A car behind us got in the right lane and matched speed with the truck, so when she swerved over to the right lane to pass, she was blocked. We then pulled up next to her and matched speed with her. She needed to get over to turn left but we made her either go straight or turn right. Karen was flipping her mind the whole time screaming and cursing and generally just pissed off. We then found out the truck guy lived in our apartment complex and high fives were given all around.
Brosef_Stalin94
9. Have A Nice Day
I came out of the supermarket one day to find that someone hit my car. A stranger told me the person who hit my car got out, looked at the damage, and parked at the other end of the lot.
I went to where the car was parked, and confirmed (paint matched) it was the car that hit mine, flattened all four tires, and left a note on their windshield telling them to have a nice day.
Choppers_19
10. A Video Never Lies
I was sitting in my car taking some photos with my new smartphone while using different settings. Then there was this woman who just stopped at a one way street with only 1 lane. So she stands there for like 10 seconds doing nothing and I thought this is very unusual...so I started to make a video. Another driver comes and honks. She then proceeds to reverse and hit the car of the other guy with her big BMW. 4 Guys jumped out of the BMW and started yelling at the guy.
You have to know in Germany, the one who hits another car from behind will be blamed if he can't prove that it wasn't his fault. So we have a classic insurance fraud.
The poor guy at the back was really worried because he knew he couldn't prove it. I just sat there in my car and waited for the police. Then I went outside and the police started to get the stories...of course they were 4 against one guy. I just stood there and listened to the woman complaining about how this idiot hit her from behind and her brand new car is now damaged.
After the police took the statement from both sides and even took my statement they said there is no chance that 2 vs 4 could prove that he didn't do it. 2 of the guys at the BMW said they didn't know the girl and were pedestrians who saw it. That would increase the credibility.
So they made all false statements to the police and that's the thing I wanted to happen. I then told the police "oh wait there is just one thing" like Colombo style and said that I got a video of what happened. I showed them to the police and the woman and the drivers just stood there with mouth open...you could not only see how she hits HIS car but also that the "Pedestrians" were with the women in the car. The guy then hugged me and we became good friends. Turns out he lives near me and we spend the evening drinking and gaming.
Odatas
11. He Speaks English
Waiting in line to vote today, I stood next to an Asian man and we engaged in a conversation about the excitement surrounding this presidential election. He struck me as a very well educated person with interesting insights about this election season.
When it was his turn at the registration desk, the woman there asked him if he spoke English and if he did, would she be able to understand him. I spoke up and said that he spoke English a whole lot better than she did and wasn't anywhere near as rude as she is.
Deleted
12. Running Red Lights
At a pedestrian crossing on a major road in one of the wealthiest parts of town. The little man goes green for me to cross, however I see one of those 4WD vehicles that has never been off road and I can tell the driver isn’t going to stop. Sure enough he runs the red and all so he can turn into the 7-Eleven 50m beyond the crossing. He would’ve happily run me down just to get to the convenience store a few seconds earlier. He gets out of his car with his wife and several kids.
I walk up to him, tell him he almost killed me, he is selfish and a few other colourful tidbits too. He is speechless throughout. I finish up by pointing to his kids and saying “Now explain to your kids why you’ve just been abused in this manner” and head on my way.
Mildebeest
13. Just Krispy
When I was working a terrible job in my younger days, a customer was upset that he had to wait in line like everyone else before being able to make his purchase.
He actually said, "Do you know who I am? I own hotels!"
To which I replied, "Well sir, I'm sorry, but this isn't Monopoly, this is Krispy Kreme."
He was not pleased.
TheGentileWookie
14. Give Me All Your Cookies
At the end of a long commute home, after a hard week, I went to a Millies Cookies store just before closing time. As I walked up to the counter, not 5 feet from it, some guy ran from behind me and tried to cut in front of me - the girl working there insisted I was first (thank you).
Outraged at what that guy tried to do, and noticing there were not many cookies left, I said "Hi, I'll take absolutely everything you have". Cost me close to $60, but it was so worth it.
shuffledy
15. Eat That
I was walking down the street smoking a cig when I saw a woman eating on the sidewalk patio eyeballing me. I was still 30 feet away and she was waving her hand in front of her nose and pointing for me to cross the street.
Instead I walked past her and managed to cut a nice audible fart right next to her as I kept walking. I was proud.
bennyha12
16. I Have More Where That Came From
So I worked customer service for four years and this is my favorite one. One Saturday this guy comes through we're decently busy but nothing we haven't seen before. The guy rolls down his window and he just reeks of beer (it's ~11:00 AM), the first thing he does is start getting rude about how we didn't wash his car well the last time he was through. Now I was in a good mood at the time so I offered him a couple free air fresheners and told him I would take care of his car myself.
I rang up the sale and returned with a couple peace token air fresheners, it was at this point his wife who was in the back seat with their baby thanked me. The husband losses his mind at her saying she is not to talk out of turn or unless spoken to first by a man and most of all "doan yu than' no ni**er" I keep my composure send him on his way. I then called the cops, told them what happened as far as the alcohol and gave them the make, model, year, color, the direction the guy turned once he left and his license plate number.
Ralexs1991
17. Hero Of The Cinema
I was sitting in a movie theater, when I was asked to save two seats in the middle of my row (I was sitting on the end). The people asking were elderly and needed to go to the bathroom, so I thought it was of some kind of an importance. The whole row was filled up too, so I figured it'd be easy to save. I sat there for a while, when a busty lady made her way up the row and stopped right next to me, at which point she looked at me and said "Can you move"
I smile with all the awkward tension of any man around giant bazongas and say "Sorry, I believe those are being saved." Then the lady does something unbelievable, she sort of tries to jam her way past my legs in a mad attempt to get to the seat. Her boyfriend was just standing there. I look at her, flabbergasted, and simply say "those seats are saved." She snapped her fingers in my face, and said "WATCH ME WALK".
At that point, everyone in the theatre was watching, and I was having none of this. My face went from an awkward smile to a solid try me face. I could tell she was getting ready for another assault, so I slumped down in my chair and put my hands towards the seat in front of me (making a desperate attempt to block her) and she was forced to sort of run into my legs a few times. I looked at her boyfriend, and he rolled his eyes and said "come on, let's go."
So off went Busty St.Claire, in all her vivacious rage, roaring and raving all the way to the front of the theater. Best part was after the whole episode was over and the elderly couple had returned, the people behind me asked me to save their seats, because they thought "if anyone could handle it, it would be me".
RyanGee
18. Ice Cold Revenge
Just the other day I was at a Chinese buffet and the three people in the booth next to me were questioning the waitress (she appeared to be Asian-Hispanic) about voting for the President and who she planned to vote for. She had trouble understanding them and communicating that she could not vote. They immediately began taunting her that she shouldn't be here if she couldn't vote, that she didn't even know who the President of the United States is, and then took a picture and said they would post it on Facebook.
I later found out the waitress was on a school visa and couldn't vote but was unable to convey that to them. After the waitress walked off, one of the girls at the table (the one who took the pic) looked up and asked me where I worked because I looked familiar. I told her I worked at the local university in the social work department, she commented that she had recently been in my office to apply to our program, to which I replied, “Yes, I remember you and I'm also on the admissions committee [followed with a wink].” The color drained from her face and she knew she was screwed. Karma's a witch.
Instantwinner1
19. Frozen With Confusion
Guy got out of his car to express some road rage to me. I just got out of my truck, walked past him, pushed the lock button on his door, closed it, walked past him again (his mouth hanging open this time), got back in my truck and drove off.
He seemed to be frozen with confusion.
Tristan2353
20. Next!
I was next in line at the grocery store and there was a pretty long line. This woman behind me was making a huge fuss about them needing to open more registers and she was swearing and muttering under her breath. When a second clerk appeared at the next register to open another register he looked at me and said, "I can help the next person in line, sir".
The mumbling Karen behind me saw the clerk coming and had backed her cart up and was rushing for the register that was opening. Now there was a cart parked between the opening of the two registers blocking me from walking directly. I saw the woman barreling towards the open register. I swiftly push the cart blocking her path and move my basket into the now open register.
Her face got so red and looked like she was going to explode as she nearly collided with the cart. I just looked at her and said in the most innocent voice I have "Ooops, he did call for next in line." smiled and got checked out as she had to go all the way around. Best part is one other person managed to sneak in behind me and she ended up having to wait longer as a result. Best day ever.
Deleted
21. Being Nice Is Key
I work for a rental car company and if you call me up at the end of the day demanding that I deliver you a car and swearing at me. You will be left stranded on the side of the road and I will not lose even a little sleep about it.
However if I'm moments from closing and you're nice and polite I will go out of my way to help you and stay after we close if I have to.
Not being an jerk pays dividends for children.
The1Honkey
22. All Squared
I cussed out a guy for parking in a handicapped spot while his able bodied girlfriend walked into 7-11.
He got out of the car like he wanted to fight, then my 3 HUGE co-workers got out of the car, ( I worked construction and carpooled at the time) and walked behind me, the guy shrank back into his car and backed out of the spot.
Downvote_allmy_posts
23. Not So Handicapped
Guy in a nice Audi parks in the handicap spot. I saw it and so, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and just walked up to him to make sure he has an ACROD. He didn't. So I sorta told him: "Dude, you shouldn't park there, you don't have an ACROD and you're not disabled."
His reply: "Shod off you little jerk."
So I thought okay, fine. I pretend to walk away, wait for him to shove off, then walk over to his car, got every single detail down, took several pictures of his car plate, the spot he is in, plus got some witnesses. Then I proceed to take every single shopping cart in the trolley stowaway area, and place it all around his car, as close as possible without touching his car.
Then I called the police. Half an hour later as I was finishing up my grocery shopping, I saw him trying to explain himself to the police with them handing him a fine and then proceeding to push all the trolleys away. Best thing about it is that in his impatience, he accidentally slams one of the trolleys on his side view mirror, damaging it. I was watching all this from a bench, while eating a cornetto.
Meisnewguy
24. The Long Way
One time I was working at a taco bell in Virginia beach, VA. There was a guy with his wife sitting and eating complaining about "all the ni**ers at the beaches here” they were the only people in the restraunt at the time, and no black people were working that day, so I guess he thought he was safe.
After he was done he asked me directions to the Chesapeake Bay bridge tunnel which was less than a mile from us and spanned the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay, (very long bridge that went to the eastern shore of VA) I told him he was way off course and gave him directions to the Hampton roads bridge tunnel. This was in ‘95 and before Google maps or affordable gps and the directions added at least 4 hours to his trip back north.
Downvote_allmy_posts
25. Priceless
I work at a bar and for the past several weeks I've been dealing with a regular guy who just hits on me all the time in the sleaziest way possible (Trying to look down my shirt, touching the small of my back, he even called me his girlfriend to a coworker). I've told him countless times that I'm not interested and that I actually found his advances inappropriate and incredibly rude. Of course this doesn't stop him. Advance to today. I had the day off and decided that it would be fun to visit work and have a few free drinks while watching the election progress.
So I brought my boyfriend to the bar and sat down on a stool and lo and behold this guy came up. He ignores my boyfriend and puts his hands on the small of my back again and says "Hey you, I have a booth if you wanna put your hands to work." He looks at me and grins a sleazy smile. "Oh yeah, I knew you wanted it all along. You got nice hands baby" I had no idea what he was talking about since I wasn't holding his hand. He then looks at his hands at my lower back and his face goes pale. He isn't holding my hands but my boyfriend's who snuck his hand to hold his and made this jerk think that I was holding his. My boyfriend then looks at the guy and starts talking in the most feminine voice. "You know it, baby! Now where's this booth?" He then kissed the guy's hand! The guy's face. PRICELESS! He let go of my boyfriend's hand and ran out of the bar. My co-worker was standing there looking at everything and started cracking up. It was the best.
Iamanowl
26. Get Me A Man
My sister and I worked for Circuit City. There was an angry customer she was dealing with who said that a woman didn't know what she was talking about, she needed to get her manager. She got her manager Laurie. He said no woman can help me let me speak to your manager. She got her manager Ruthanne.
He was so mad at this point and said don’t any men work at this store. I'm listening to this so I walk out and say in my most feminine voice possible, “hello sir can I help you?” He screamed and left the store.
Mastad0420
27. She Could’ve Gotten Away With It
I work for parking services at a decent sized university...I don't write tickets, I just man the front desk, answer questions, and enter permits and changes into our database. We get yelled/cussed at a lot, so it's nothing new, but this witch comes in raising hell over some tickets she rightfully got. She was being so ignorant and rude about the whole situation, but I politely looked up her account to see if I could find any errors or anything that might help her.
She is constantly abusing me the whole time I'm trying to see what I can do for her...Well look here, these $100's of tickets you're complaining about aren't being linked to your account for some reason. I don't tell her this, but I do ask to see her last ticket, so I can check if everything is right. Little does she know, with the info I got from the ticket, I transferred all of those tickets she got onto her account. If she would have been nice about the whole thing, she would have probably gotten away without ever having to pay those, now she has a few hundred bucks worth of tickets.
PeNutH3ad
28. Cashless, Priceless
I was in a grocery store express checkout line (20 items or less) and the line was long. The guy behind me starts huffing and puffing about people using their credit cards "Doesn't anyone use cash anymore?" "They should have a cash-only line." As more people use their cards, he gets louder and louder. I was buying a $1.25 pack of gum and had $2 cash in my hand.
It was too easy. As I rang up my gum, I put the $2 back in my wallet and pulled out my credit card. The look on his face? Omg... PRICELESS!! Even the cashier had to chuckle as she handed me the receipt and the guy swore as I signed it and handed it back. Made my day!
Yomat
29. Not So Fast
I was standing in line at a bank waiting to deposit my paycheck and this young woman came in talking loudly on her phone about how she was mad at her friend. The line was pretty long and I was two people from the front. She starts first by complaining to the person in front of her how little time she has and how much of a hurry she's in. People get tired of her mouth and decide sooner or later to let her pass them. By the time she gets to me I'm next in line and she looks at me and says, "You know I'm going next, right?" I looked her in the eyes and replied, "I don't give two craps what you think is about to happen. I've been waiting my turn and I'm not about to let some stuck up sorry excuse of a Karen cut in front of me because no one wants to tell you no.
I'm not your friend and I'm not moving." She got mad and hit me in the arm. A security guard saw that and pulled her from the line and threw her out. On my way out he whispered to me, "to hell with that Karen." It was a good day.
deleted
30. T’boned
A few years back, after having gone shopping, I was queued in traffic waiting to get out of the car park. A few cars ahead of us there was this shitty old bomb of a car with 4 teenagers in it. Fairly douchy looking dudes, shirts off, board shorts and sunglasses on. Anyway these 4 teenagers had a megaphone with them in their car and thought that it would be hilarious to shout profanities at other cars and people in the car park area while we all waited to leave.
This centre employee drives by in one of those tractors with a trailer attached for transporting shopping carts and the guys in the car start shouting stuff at him through the megaphone. "Why don't you get a real job, you loser!" and so forth. The employee just put his head down as he drove by with that 'okay' expression on his face.
Next the 4 teenagers decide it would be funny to start shouting profanities at some guy in a massive offroad 4x4 with a bull bar on the front. Bad move. I can't remember what they said, but the 4x4 guy wasn't having any of it. He calmly drove his car out of the queue and got about 25 meters distance perpendicular to the teenagers' crappy car. Then he hit the gas and T-bones their crappy car into the wall. He then calmly backs up a little and then takes his turn to exit the car park and goes on his merry way. The employee transporting the shopping carts nearly fell off his tractor with laughter. His laughter was in Laddergoat territory.
NovaT