Escape from Nightmare Dates: A Chronicle of Hair-Raising Encounters

1. Fast Pacing

He took off his pants

After a first date of dinner and a movie, he asked if I’d like to “have some fun”

I said No.

He apologized for overstepping himself

I told him “Hey, I totally understand and it’s okay!”

Now the confusing part...he took my word “okay” as consent for “I totally want to do it now”

So he immediately and quickly took off his pants

Such awkwardness when I explained it was still a no.


2. Dodged A Bullet

I went out one night with some of my girl friends. I was the young, naive girl in our group. We went to this bar that is on a lake and had a great time drinking margaritas. I met a guy...we danced, laughed...really clicked! 

My girlfriends were ready to go...I didn’t want to. He was making promises that he could get me home, but the DD in our group put her foot down and said we had to go. We exchanged numbers and made promises to talk soon, and the DD took us girls home.

The next day, I got a text from him! I’m so excited because he had to be interested if he texted the next day right?! We make plans for dinner and he offers to pick me up.

Him: “So, pick you up at the same address?”

Me: “Same address? What are you talking about.”

Him: “The house I dropped you off at.”

Me: “You didn’t drop me off?”

Him: “Shut up. We made love in your driveway.”

Me: “, we did not.”

Him: “Yes, we did!”

Me: “I’m really confused. And I think you are too...but I’m not the girl you went home with last night.”

So the date died before it ever got started. Grateful for the DD though!! She was a lifesaver.


3. Put Your Finger Down

He stuck his fingers in my dessert, licked his fingers, and did it again!! 

I ordered a lemon meringue pie and offered him some, he said “no” only to then proceed to say “Actually that looks good” and he stuck his fingers in for a taste. 



4. The Weirdos

I was 28 or 29 years old at the time. We’d been talking for approximately 10 minutes over one drink... 

Him: So do you want kids? Cuz if you do, you don’t want to wait too long. You’re drying up. 

Me: [completely puzzled]

Him: It’s biology. Don’t be mad.

Then there was the time I met a guy for coffee, it was like 9 or 10 a.m. The coffee shop was busy but fairly quiet. 

He’d ask me a question, I’d answer and he’d loudly exclaim “Nice!!! High five!!!!” He did this like 4 or 5 times before I had to tell him to stop.

I didn’t want to keep high-fiving.


5. The Isolation

I had been seeing this guy for a few months but he kept me on the down low/didn't want to commit. Finally took me out to dinner in public and we sat at the bar. 

A little after we ordered his two friends got to the bar and he immediately got up before they spotted us. He went over to them and sat and ate dinner with them and texted me not to come over. 

SO I sat alone for most of the night until his friends left.


6. College Sweetheart

I had an old college friend come to visit me and stay for a weekend. Knew her in college. She was amazingly intelligent and fascinating, but we were both spoken for at the time. Years later I got Facebook and she was one of the first people to find me.

Both of us were single. She asked if I wanted to date her. I said hell yes! I was thrilled at the prospect.

The Short Version:

The weekend was spent listening to her narcissistic crap:

She told me jokes that are as old as the internet, reworded to sound like personal life anecdotes

She told me all this insane Edge lord crap she used to or still does, like taunting police (back in 2009) or sneaking Cuban products back to America when the embargo was still in place

She tried to start a fight with a bouncer when we went to a bar and she forgot her ID back at my house (a block away)

We visited some of my best friends, and the moment we parted she talked crap about them non-stop.

My brother came by since I texted him I was out and hung out. She talked to him for quite a while. He left, then she spent the rest of the night talking about how attractive he was. At this point, I was just counting the hours until she left. I was no longer interested in her.

She FINALLY left, and I got a text that night:

"You failed all my tests. You laughed at my jokes that weren't really jokes, You didn't defend me against the bouncer, and you aren't interested in my passion (fighting bouncers and cops) and you sat there and took it while I talked about your brother. Also, I don't find you physically attractive."

I didn't reply. I just cut my losses and fell asleep.

Several months later at 4 am, I got another text from her. Same text as I just wrote, only this was out of nowhere, and the injury following insult. I gave her absolute hell for it and blocked her on Facebook.

She then made duplicate Facebook accounts and threatened me on those too. She gave up eventually, but I dodged a freaking bullet.


7. Unexpected Side

My freshman year of undergrad my TA for a comp science class I was taking asked me on a date. He seemed normal/nice enough so I agreed and we went to dinner at a random restaurant in the city. 

He ordered for me which was not my favorite but I was like whatever cause he seemed to know the place really well. He was a narcissistic weirdo and he talked about himself the entire time and kept asking me/telling me to “pay attention.” 

He told me all about his ex-fiancé and basically went on a rant about how white women are so entitled so now he’s only interested in “black queens.” It was making my skin crawl, I felt physically ill. 

In the end, I wanted to split the bill he said he would pay since I’d be paying him later wink wink. I didn’t even know what to say or do. I just stared at him and excused myself to go to the bathroom and I left through a side door. 

Luckily there were only two weeks left in the semester so I only saw him again for the final.


8. Brick Wall

From the get-go, talking to her was honestly like talking to a freaking brick wall. If I asked her a question, her reply was typically one word or at most a single sentence. And no questions in return or any effort to keep the conversation going.

At one point, she got up to go to the toilet, and the older woman who was sitting at the table next to us leaned over and whispered to me.

Older woman: I have to say, I really admire your patience. She is a nightmare!


9. What A Night

Went out with a guy from work who I didn't know much about. He turned out to be a dick in many ways and was drunk when I showed up. The Lowlight of the night was when he started touchily heckling the small cover band that was playing in the bar. 

The guy on the mic said, "I'll give you 10 dollars out of my own pocket if you can tell me this girl's name" and you guessed it, he literally blanked on my name in front of a room full of people.

Forgot the kicker. The next day he texted me saying, "You can try again," as if I was the one who blew it.


10. Fruit of Nervousness

Met online back in 2003. Agreed to meet at a diner we both knew. I got there first. 

She arrived, hit the gas instead of the brake, drove into the curb, and then hit a light pole which fell over and landed on a parked van. 

No one got hurt but she was pretty embarrassed. 

Never heard back from her.


11. Aftermath of Wisdom Tooth

I got a girl's number and went to the dentist a few days later. 4 wisdom teeth and a lot of drugs later, I apparently showed the dentist her number as my emergency pickup.

I have no memory of these events, but apparently, she picked me up, took me to the pharmacy for my medication, and dropped me off at my apartment, where I passed out.

That was our first and only date. Apparently, I didn't make a good impression. Can't blame her for that.

I have no idea why the dentist's office asked drugged-up me for a pickup number. 

I assume they couldn't reach my primary help number, but I never asked.


12. Chivalry is Dead

So many stories but one of the worst, sorry it's a bit long:

I matched with this guy on a dating app and he offered to take me out to dinner. I thought that sounded nice so later that night he picked me up. We were driving and he asked me where I wanted to go. 

I told him I was fine with anything. He said, "Okay then" and pulled into Subway. He then told me that he wasn't hungry, but that I should eat! So he stood outside of the Subway and watched while I went in and got myself food.

At this point, I was already mentally done but I wanted to see how much worse it would get. Spoiler, it got so much worse.

So I was sitting in the car with the sub on my lap, and he decided that it was a great idea to drive around, specifically through a dark, isolated ravine that was nearby. 

He drove for about 10 minutes into the ravine, parked the car next to an abandoned tennis court, and said, "Okay, you can eat now." I was just thinking, "I really don't want to die here", so I choked down the soggy sub while he stared at me. The second I was done, he pulled the car out and drove me back home.

I was so grateful to make it home in one piece that it took me several days to process how freaked up the entire date was.

The cherry on top: at 2 a.m. that night, he came back to my house uninvited, carrying a bag full of stale donuts, and asked me if I wanted to make love (but it had to be without a condom since he didn't have any)


13. Friendly Guy

Another story. This was a second date with a guy. I wasn't particularly into him, but he was nice enough and I was new to the area and looking to meet people.

At the last minute, he says his buddy just got to town and asks if he can tag along. I say sure. They came over to my place first, then we went to a dance club. The buddy was awful from the start and only got worse. He insulted my house, my driving, my job, etc. He clearly just wanted to hang out with my date and didn't like that I was there.

At the club, he keeps trying to dance up on girls who are obviously not into it, then screams in their faces when they ask him to stop. My date had totally disappeared trying to wingman for his asshole friend. 

After about an hour I'd had enough, so I found my date and told him he could come with me or he'd have to find another way back to his car. He's sulky but agrees.

We get back to my house, my date apologizes for running off and begs to come in, promising his friend will behave. I relent because I'm an idiot. 

Within 10 minutes, it becomes painfully obvious that, having struck out at the club, my date is now trying to get me to sleep with his friend. I kick them out immediately. 

He texted me the next day calling me a baby and accusing me of stealing his phone charger.


14. Unexpected Disaster

Haven't had many dates but the worst/funniest was from a dating app (shock). The plan was to start at my house as a double date then if it went well split up and go out. 

It never got to the last part because he crapped in my toilet, blocked it with toilet roll, and got embarrassed when my friend went in and left. 

Oh, and he forgot his jacket in the rush so got one of his friends to come and get it the next day.


15. A Deal Breaker

Met a guy at a professional night out; he seemed interesting. He invited me out for Chinese food and a movie but insisted I come by his house first to meet his four dogs because not liking his dogs would be a deal-breaker. 

Cool, I love dogs. I follow directions to his house, which is a mobile home with a small fenced yard. So the dogs must be little, I think. No. Four large, mannerless dogs live inside this mobile home and the smell is completely encompassing. 

Turns out "dinner and a movie" meant watching one of the thousands of VHS tapes and DVDs he owned while he tried to get the clothes off me, while four big dogs bounced around. 

I declined his kind offer and got out of there. 

My clothes went directly in the washer and my car smelled like a dog for days.


16. Like a Dog

I met this guy at a coffee place. He was nice and we met for coffee once more and then met for dinner at a bar.

The dude straight-up licked my face. We were sitting at the bar and I had turned to get the bartender's attention and he leaned over and licked me chin to temple. I was visibly shaken. So he tried to playfully poke me to tone my "what the freak" face down and I asked him to stop. 

He then leaned in and whispered, "I'll just poke your sleeping body later". . . .

I made him leave. I walked him to his car and had a bouncer stand by the door and wait for/watch me.

I received several messages a few days later. He was concerned he hadn't heard from me and was going to "stop by my parents later to see if I was ok.". I never took him to/spoke to him about my parent's house/address. 

I told him I would call the police if I ever heard from him or saw him again.

Thankfully, I never heard from him again.


17. Hide and Seek

I went on a dinner date with a guy. He takes me to a tapas restaurant and proceeds to chug 3 drinks in a matter of 15 minutes. The waiter asks if I want to see a menu and he tells them no. So apparently dinner is not happening. 

This guy sucks and he keeps randomly interrupting me to tell me where he buys his clothes. So I excused myself to use the bathroom and the wait staff pulled me aside and asked me if I needed help because it was looking bad. 

They said they would tell him I left and to stay in the kitchen watching Alien vs Predator until he left. I waited 10 minutes until he left.

I went to Wendy's for a spicy chicken sandwich.


18. Sudden Change

I had been texting this girl and she was really digging me. I was in school for accounting and she LOVED that. Apparently, she was tired of all these artsy guys.

So we go on a date. Her family works in high finance in Singapore and is really well off. I’m asking her about competition with Hong Kong, SK, and Taiwan. She told me a little but then asked me about the industrialization of India and if I had seen any changes. I’ve never been so I tell her I didn’t know. At this point, she is confused and asks me why I’ve never been to my homeland. I tell her I’m American and my parents are Mexican.

Her eyes got so wide. She suddenly gets super awkward and says I’m lying. She wanted me to prove it so I showed her my ID which shows I have a Spanish last name. She gets super uncomfortable and tells me to take her home. I’m like wtf. 

So I take her home and she is visibly scared. The longest 20-minute drive of my life. 

I dropped her off and that was the last I ever heard of her.


19. A Tricky Guy

I was young and kind of shy and a pushover, and I met this nice guy at a cafe and went on a date with him. First, he brings his dog to the restaurant, and so we aren't allowed in. Weird but like hey maybe he thought they were pet-friendly. 

He says he lives nearby so I walk with him and intend to wait outside while he brings the dog upstairs.

He insists I come inside and I, being a bit awkward, reluctantly go up. He immediately sits down and asks if I want water, etc. I repeatedly reminded him we were going to have dinner until eventually he agreed and we left.

Dinner is weird, he had some strange/god-awful views and I knew it wasn't gonna work out (wanted literal cat genocide, shamed me for wanting to adopt, and more). I make a move to go home after dinner and he reminds me I agreed to a walk too so caught off guard I agree.

He then walks me back to his apartment and pulls an "Oh I wanted to bring my dog!" And once again gets me upstairs and sits down and insists I sit behind him. I sit there EXTREMELY uncomfortable while he puts his arm around me and asks uncomfortable questions.

I tell him I don't like being touched and keep asking to leave and it takes a while but we finally go for a short walk until I see literally just the first train I can find and make an excuse to get on it.

Not the worst in comparison but I definitely cried on my way home because it made me feel so unsafe


20. High Maintenance Guy

About ten-ish years ago I went on a date with a coworker who seemed like a nice, low-drama kind of guy. He asked me to go out to a bar and while I'm not a big drinker I agreed. While I may not have been a big drinker turned out he absolutely was. 

The guy got messy and drunk to the point where he couldn't drive home, and since he had driven us there it meant that I, too, was out of a ride home (this was pre-Uber days), and he was drunkenly adamant about wanting to walk home as he lived maybe three blocks away from the bar. 

I couldn't exactly force him into a cab and his roommate was another coworker of ours so I figured I'd help get him home and then ask the roommate to take me home. The bar was downtown, and to get to his house we had to walk past the police station.

As we passed it he stopped, started screaming about hating the cops, and ended up puking on the sidewalk outside the station and then sat down on said sidewalk and refused to keep going because he didn't feel good. 

I ended up leaving him there, finishing the short walk to his house, getting the roommate guy to take me home and as we drove past the police station the roommate stopped to pick him up. 

The guy lay down in the backseat crying and apologizing to me the entire ride back to my house. My roommate confirmed it was a pretty normal thing for the guy to get stupid drunk any given night. There was no second date and work was awkward for a while.


21. A Bait

I was 19 or so sitting at a bus stop bench waiting for the bus to go to work. This stunning woman sits next to me. Not long after she starts talking to me. We have a pretty good conversation and I build up the courage to ask if she'd like to meet up sometime at a nearby coffee shop. 

She says YES! We agree on a day and time then the last thing she says to me before I get on my bus is "It's a date."

I go to the coffee shop at the agreed time and see she is already there. She has a male friend sitting right next to her. No big deal I figure he must be there in case I'm a creep or something. 

I sit across from her and we order a drink. Then right away she said something.

Her: So, what do you think about Jesus?

Pulls out a pamphlet. 

Me: I thought this was a date?

She says something along the lines of 

Her: I didn't think you'd show up if it wasn't. 

I ended up leaving right away before she saw me tear up.


22. Other Way Around

I'd been talking to this guy and we finally decided to go on a date. He said he'd take me out for dinner and drinks. He offered to pick me up after work so I said okay. He sent me a text saying "WE'RE" on the way. 

I immediately asked who us we?? Well, he's a single father, and his sister was supposed to be watching his 4-year-old son, but something came up. Uh... Okay, I still went along with it. 

So he said he wanted to go home to shower first since he was in his work clothes. We got to his house and he showered and fell asleep for like 4 hours while I hung out with his child who smacked me in the face TWICE. 

After I told him not to do that anymore, we ended up getting along and having fun. Turns out, he's a sweet kid. He finally woke up and we ordered pizza. I took an Uber home. 

I would have left before he woke up, but I didn't want to leave his kid alone.


23. Too Spicy

Back in the days of Myspace, a guy contacted me. Wanted to meet up. Cool. Wanted me to pick him up. Not cool. I was young and didn't want a stranger in my car. He didn't like that.

After going back and forth, he finally agreed to meet me at the mall. Perfect. I get there and he's not there. I waited a bit before he showed up. He asked if I had been waiting long. Being polite and wanting to make a good first impression, I said no. He called me a liar.

I was a bit taken aback, but I figured maybe it was his way of joking. At that age I never gave anyone a chance, I would shut people out, I didn't want to do that.

Throughout the "date," he repeatedly told me I was lying, I was stupid, I was an idiot. And it was over stupid things. I thought Target closed at 9. He called me stupid and said it closed at 10.

I finally had enough, told him goodnight, and left. He sent me a message over Myspace saying he was "too spicy" for me. I blocked him and that was the end of it.


24. Perplexing Woman

Met a girl off a dating app. She gave me a legit 20-question test on my life ambitions, university GPA, and ethical views. Unfortunately, I passed.

Took my dogs to her university campus and walked them together. Got naughty in the van. Ended with her crying on my lap telling me I’ll never understand her, her brother beating her up and her mom trying to stab her.

It was our first date and we were 19... I hope she’s doing okay - she was a nice gal. Just not what I was looking for as a 19-year-old on a dating app…


25. No Idea

My worst date was a date I didn't realize I was on. I lived in Korea for a few years and wanted to practice Korean. I made an online ad asking for someone to help me with my Korean, and I'd help them with their English. 

Lots of people responded, and I hung out with them one by one looking for who was the best teacher and who I got along with. One of them wanted to meet in a coffee shop. I get there and meet her. She was super quiet and really awkward. 

She'd barely even look at me. I'd say something in Korean, and she'd respond in English. I asked her if we could talk in all Korean for a while and then all English later, and she simply didn't respond at all. 

Sometimes she'd just sit there quietly for a minute or two after I asked something, and I'd just change the subject. Eventually, I gave up and said I was leaving. She said she was leaving too, then. As we were walking out, she asked if I wanted to get a beer now. I tried to say no as politely as possible. 

She asked when we could go out again, and that's when I realized she thought this was a date. A terrible, terrible date.

On the plus side, I met my wife with that same ad. Neither of us thought that was a date, but we did eventually end up dating.


26. Bad For First

My first ever online date!

We had been chatting on a dating website and agreed to meet at a cafe. I showed up about 15 minutes early. She calls me and says she is going to be a little late. I say no big deal. 25 minutes later she called me again and said she was going to be late as she locked herself out of her apartment. 

I wait and wait. At this point, it is an hour after the agreed-upon time. I see a woman who matched her picture enter the cafe. Before I can go up to meet her, my phone rings. I picked it up, and she proceeded to shout at me, "Where the fudge are you? Is this some sort of prank?" I tell her that I am at a table in the back of the cafe.

My first online date was informative, as I learned why some women only post pictures of their faces. She was extremely overweight. Furthermore, she was only in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. All this is minor, compared to what happens next.

After making some small talk, I asked her how her day was going. She asks if I really want to know. I mistakenly said yes. She launches into a rant about how she got fired from her last job because people were plotting against her. 

A new job she signed up for was just a scam that stole her credit card information. She just got out of an abusive, physical-only relationship. Her 25-year-old sister was abandoning the family to move to New York City. 

She was just kicked out of school because people said she was plotting to kill someone, but she swears she wasn't. "People are always plotting to get me, it seems". I was too frozen to leave at that moment and stayed for about another hour trying to make the most awkward small talk ever.


27. Lame Excuse

I was 15 and this guy asked me out on Valentine's Day. This would have been my first ever date and I was excited. We've texted and talked a lot for the past three weeks and had only met up twice since we were both from different schools.

Feb. 14 came and I was so excited I came 30 min. earlier than the agreed time. After 30 min. no show. I thought, "Okay, maybe he's just running a bit late." so I waited and even sent him a text twice asking where he was. 2 hrs. passed, and still no show. I actually tried calling him but he cannot be reached. I went home crying.

That night he called explaining his friend dragged him to his house along with his group mates to finish a project. To be honest I would have understood. But what really ticked me off was that he could've at least sent me a text telling me that he couldn't make it. That really put me off on dating.


28. Pain in the neck

Went to a small but popular place that wound up being packed, so we shared a booth with another couple. My date started hitting on the other who responded. His date and I are rolling our eyes at each other like WTF? 

When we left, it had started snowing. Date slips and falls and then can't really walk. I'm carrying her down the sidewalk back to her house. She sees an SUV creeping by in the snow (about 3-4" by now, which is a lot for Virginia), hobbles over, and starts banging on the window asking for a ride. 

SUV nopes out. Carry her home (fortunately she was petite, although that probably contributed to low alcohol tolerance [plus it later turned out she was on antidepressants, not a good combo]) and I'm asking if she needs to go to the ER, I can call a cab (didn't have a car). She starts yelling "JUST GET OUT!" 

I write down my number and tell her to call me if she needs to go to the hospital, and she flips to "You're just gonna leave?" Then back to "GET OUT!" Then flip-flops a couple more times. Finally, I escaped.

A week or two later I go out with my roommate to a different place for a couple of beers, and there she is at the end of the bar. "I BROKE MY LEG!" Big cast/splint from ankle to hip. Said I hoped she got better quickly and we bolted. And no, I didn't wind up dating the girl from the other couple in the booth.


29. Odd Day

The girl lived in a different city, she was coming with her brother. She told me he'd leave quickly as he had things to do.

Turns out they didn't know the city I lived in almost at all and wanted a guide around town, I don't have a problem, I can do that. I knew the guy didn't like me so I kept my distance from her, but he didn't leave at any point, he was there during the whole thing. Near the end, she went in for a kiss, mouth full of Cheetos residue, and the guy puffed up "YO GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER YOU CREEPY FREAK"

I'm like ??? I bounced, we met a few times after the fact but we broke it off about a month after that.

It was an odd day out.


30. Writers Vibe

I went on a second date with a guy who initially seemed really great. Halfway through it, he tells me about some stories he's written. I'm also a writer so I was very interested. He goes off on his story about women in the slave trade. 

This was in deep detail. He then told me another story (which luckily I can't remember) but it was also about abused women in some sense. I was uncomfortable but I asked him why he chose such topics. He said it was just for fun. I got a weird vibe from the guy after that so we did not go on another date.

At a different time, I went on an ice cream date with a guy. We talked as we ate and the conversation went from normal to him talking about the decline of his mental health for a good few hours. 

I felt bad for him because he obviously needed someone to talk to but at the same time...this was a date and not a therapy session. The guy had some things to work through and probably shouldn't be dating. That was our only date.

I'd like to add that both of these guys were "writers" which is why I no longer go on dates with other writers.


31. Out Loud

He took me to an Italian restaurant. After we ordered he got a phone call. He makes a small chitchat with the person on the other line.

Then he says 'Mom, I know, I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. Mom! I'm here with my girlfriend. I'll tell you how much the bill was afterward.'

Two things. It was a first date. I was NOT his girlfriend. Secondly, he lived with his mom (fine..I can deal with that) and his mom micromanaged all of his money - to the point of calling during dinner to see what kind of money he was spending. Super creepy, really weird.

Lol...I saw him one more time to confirm he was a strange ranger and broke it off.


32. Anger Issues

Had a lunch date. Casual conversation, and then she asked me what church I go to. I tell her I'm an atheist. Witch goes off on me about how if I don't believe in God or Heaven my life is worthless and I should just kill myself.

This took place at a restaurant I am a regular at, so I just took my food and moved to another table, and told the waitress we would be splitting the bill.


33. Completely Out of it

This worst date story is totally on me. Here goes.

High school, First date of my life, super nervous. (Is the scene set yet?)

Took her to a “fancy” dinner. In every pause in the conversation, I would gulp water. Because, awkward, nervous, uncomfortable silences can be momentarily filled by drinking water, right? Probably had about seven big glasses of water during that dinner.

Then we went to the movie theatre. Decided to sit in the last row, right in the middle. Pretty packed place. Well, as you can imagine... I needed to pee. A lot. I probably got up to go about (at least?) FIVE times during the movie.. had to slide down the whole row to get out.

The dude next to us was super annoyed but also chuckling under his breath about it. Needless to say, did not have a second date. Would love to hear what she was thinking now.


34. Just Dumbfounded

Stupidly went to his house. He was a Formula One driver. Couldn't get a single word in during his monologues about F1 history, drivers, engines, when the chassis design changes occurred (along with pulling out models from boxes and pointing parts out on them as he spoke). 

It was the worst most boring one-sided hellish experience in dating captivity I've ever had. I must've pet a bald spot into his cat from how horribly frustratingly awful it was.

It got to the point where I had one of my co-workers call me- at 8-something PM on a snowy night an hour away from home- and explain that he needed ME, his boss, to come in to work to handle the crises occurring in the ER because our on-call and back-up on-call folks just couldn't do it. 

He even went so far as to argue with me on the phone to make it sound legit. I'm so glad it worked and I left and blocked the guy and have never looked back.


35. What a Man

Went on one date with a guy I wasn’t physically attracted to because he seemed nice. He spent the ENTIRE date bragging about how much money he made. 

We shared a pizza. I had one slice, he has six. When the bill came, he said he’d appreciate it if we split it evenly “because that's how things work these days”. 

He tried to make out with me when he dropped me off at home and his breath... it’s like he ate a dead raccoon.


36. Quite Hurt

Mine was simple, but it made me feel really hurt.

I had a crush on a guy and when I finally was on a date with him I was enjoying and happy, we were eating and we randomly remembered about a friend (girl) we had in common who was studying at a university near where we were eating, he told that she was really cool and I agreed. 

Out of nowhere he then decided to pick up his phone and call her to bring her to join us in the dinner. At that moment time stopped and he made me feel like the most ugly and undesirable girl in the world.


37. A Researcher

Met this guy on POF and we met at O’Charleys and had dinner and he drove the waiter crazy. Then I stupidly got in his car and he wanted to drive to a desolate warehouse area and thought we were going to hook up. 

Then when finally on the way back to the restaurant he pulled into some kind of assisted living place for the elderly claiming his friend was looking for a place like this to move to. He drove to the garden in the back that the elderly people must take care of and started picking and eating vegetables. 

I felt like he must have done this before. While he was hunting through their garden I started doing research with his telephone number and found out he was recently married and had a string of domestic violence charges. I am still here to tell the tale.


38. Got Baited

As a biological woman, this was the first time that I'd ever gotten a date with a girl. We were going to go out to lunch together and get to know each other. I spent all morning as a bundle of nerves trying to be super pretty for the date (I don't usually dress up at all).

We met up at the restaurant and she pulled out her Bible and started talking to me about how homosexuality is a sin and she can save my soul.


39. Different Motive

She showed up 15 minutes late and spent the next 15 minutes staring at her phone responding with a singular word for most things. ‘Yep’ ‘Totally’, etc...

Until the waiter arrived she wanted to do shots before we got our actual drinks and ‘should we get 2 or 3 appetizers?’ ‘Do you think you’ll want dessert’

I just ordered a beer while I looked at the menu.

Then the waiter leaves and she’s back on her phone with one-word answers. She then orders a HUGE dinner, 3 appetizers, a shot, and ANOTHER margarita (she’s barely been there for 15 minutes at this point).

I gave it about 5 more minutes before I left for the ‘bathroom’, found the waiter, paid for my beer, gave the dude a $5 tip, told him she can pay for her own freaking food and left.

I honestly hope I ruined her day. She was clearly Tindering for dinner and it was pretty fudged.


40. Fast Pacing

Showed up and he was on the phone with his family talking about his new wife (me). By that point, we'd only talked a max of 5 minutes. Had a few drinks trying to be polite, and honestly just trying to date and to give him a chance. 

I was new to the city and he wanted to show me his apartment that he just bought saying it would help me to know the cost etc there. I was too nice and naive then and basically on my first date. 

He locked me in the apartment and shoved his tongue down my throat. Shoved him off me unbolted the door as fast as I could and ran to the train station. 

He kept calling after that wanting to go out again…


41. The Checklist

Hey, something I can finally contribute to. So a few years back I met a girl on Tinder. We agreed to meet at a restaurant and when she arrived and sat down at the table with me she then proceeded to pull out a clipboard with a checklist and ask me a bunch of questions. 

Her: Do you want kids? If so, how many? What political party do you align yourself with the most, and why? What is your major and what are the average salaries for entry-level jobs in that field? If your wife made more money than you, would you be willing to sacrifice your career and be a stay-at-home dad?

In total, there were like 30 questions and at the end, she put the clipboard back in her backpack and then continued the date like a normal person. When I asked her what that was about, she told me it was something she’d been doing to make sure someone’s goals and values were similar to hers. 

I finished the date, but just couldn’t quite get over the checklist thing.


42. Background Check

At age 18. Asked a girl to go to the drive-in with a to. If other people. She told me her dad said no but I could go to her house for a movie. I randomly picked one up. 

Thankfully it was PG when Dad asked what I brought over. Dad worked as a fireman and had his police buddy run a background check on me before we could watch the movie. 

While we waited I got the entire “What are your intentions with my daughter?” Talk. I passed the BG check. I sat on one end of the couch. She sat on the other. A rack of guns was on the wall behind us. 

Dad was in the next room. The movie ended I politely said good night to her and her dad. Still had time to make it to the drive-in with the group. I never tried to date her again.


43. My Nightmare

Met a guy I had emailed back and forth with from AOL personnel. Circa 1999-2000. Had a nice dinner. He invited me back to his place. I was newly divorced with zero dating experience and decided to go to his house. We drove separately. 

His house is in an OK area, and he had a job with a well-known accounting firm, but he had barely any furniture. Like a folding chair. We sat on the floor and talked. He had a floor lamp that was tinted pink around the bottom part of the glass covering. 

He explained his family owned a funeral home, and it was from there. The pink light makes the bodies look better.

At some point, I needed to use the toilet. It was...not good, and I clogged it up. I prayed for death to take me while I waited a minute before trying the flush of desperation. Fail. I look everywhere for a plunger. None. Fudge. My. Life.

So what do I do? I go chat with the guy for a few more minutes and make my goodbyes. Didn’t. Say. A. Word. He even called me to make sure I got on the highway okay, obviously before he discovered what I’d done. I hated myself for doing it, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was too embarrassed to say uh hey, while you’re considering whether you’d like to see me again or not, can I just mention I clogged your toilet? Sexy, am I right?

We never spoke again.


44. 45 Degrees

I met someone online. I live in a mid-size city and he lived in a small town about 40 minutes away. He asked if I would drive to him, which I wasn't wild about since there's not much to do in his little town and since we're both men and his town is very conservative, but I went with it.

He spent most of the date going on and on about conspiracy theories he believes in (all major politicians and celebrities are Illuminati Satanists run by the Catholic church, etc).

But the most unsettling part is that he literally faced 45 degrees away from me the entire time, making sure I could only ever see him in profile. Like, he sat sideways in his chair at dinner and always turned to the side while he was standing. 

At one point I stepped around into his field of view so we could look at each other, and he just immediately turned another 45 degrees.


45. People Watching Game

I've shared this before, but one time I was out on a first date with this girl I met online. I thought she was very attractive and we seem to hit off well through texts.

We're at this bar and she suggests we play a people-watching game where we try to make up backstories for the other people there. I thought it sounded fun, especially since I played a similar game with friends on the train sometimes. Plus it felt like a good icebreaker to get us talking.

Well, she managed to take all the fun out of the game by being ridiculously cruel in all her assumptions for no real reason at all. It felt like she was projecting issues she had onto these people. One guy was sitting at the bar alone, could have been waiting for someone, you never know, but because he was alone he was a freaking loser with no friends that hates his life.

Completely killed the mood and I lost interest in her after that. Couldn't see myself going on a second date with someone like that.