“I grew up in a rural area on a fairly big property. It had been a large farm that got parceled out as the owner aged. So there were 4 3/4 acre lots and my parent’s 10 acres behind them. The house was relatively far away from our neighbors.
One neighbor was an absolute piece of crap. When I was 8, I remember seeing the cop lights at his door. Found out when I was a little older that he had tried to murder his father over his oxy prescription (father owned the house, 30-year-old kid lived there rent free). He did a few years in jail, then moved back in with his father who he had tried to kill. He grew pot on our land, then threatened to kill my mother when my father and I tore it down (but didn’t call the cops).
Frequently threatened to assault/kill my mother. I can remember multiple times when I was younger, him banging on our door and screaming threats at my mom. Other times I can remember thinking about the weapon in my father’s office, in case our neighbor actually got inside the house. This occurred 8-10 times a year from ages 8-14.
He has calmed down a little after a second arrest and some anger management classes. Nowadays, he just has massive bonfires with tons of loud music and leaves empties on our property, which is still an inconsiderate move, but better than physical intimidation and death threats.”
“We had a party for all the neighbors when we moved in. I like to barbecue, and my wife is vegetarian, so we have two separate barbecues. We invited everyone on the street.
One neighbor declines ‘because we’re vegetarian.’
‘Not to worry,’ I said. ‘So’s my wife. We have two barbecues going, one for meat and one for veggies.’ I could see them searching for another reason. They look at the invite.
‘Oh, the 6th? We’re out of town then. Sorry.’
That’s cool. They don’t want to come for whatever reason. They’re not just going to say that. We’re British, after all.
The day of the party comes. Our garden is quite big, so everyone can fit in happily.
We’ve got the barbecues going on the opposite side of the garden to the aforementioned neighbors’ house. It’s only about 4 hours into the party at around 5 pm that we notice the upstairs windows in their house are open. ‘Weird, I thought they were out of town?’
As I’m looking at the windows with some of the other neighbors, we see the wife with a camera, taking photos of us!
We go round and ring the bell to explain this is the party they were invited to, and they’re still welcome to join. No answer. Curtains twitching upstairs. So we go back to the party and just ignore them.
Later into the evening, the parents and kids have gone home, just a mix of older and younger neighbors left, and I’m now making mixed drinks at the outside bar (honestly, this house was amazing.
I have no idea how it was in our budget, but anyway…) and then the police walk in through the (open) back gate.
‘Someone’ has lodged a complaint. It’s only about 9 pm (noise complaints in the UK are typically not followed up until it goes past 11 pm) but apparently not only are we having the biggest party known to man, but we’re ‘setting things on fire’ and ‘forcing adult beverages onto children.’
Of course, the Police can see we’re having a fairly civilized adult get-together, and congratulate us on moving to the area, and for getting to know our neighbors in such a friendly way.
Monday, we’re off to unpack.
Knock on the door. The Police now have photographs of the alleged ‘forcing adult beverages onto children’ and ‘setting fire to things.’ It’s one of the neighborhood kids bringing two brews from the fridge to me and his dad at the barbecue. They’re not even open.
The ‘setting fire to things?’ Yeah. Using a blowtorch to light my barbecue. Apparently, that’s endangering their property, which is a good 100 yards away from the contained fire within my oil drum barbecue.
The police can see this is a non-issue. They just need me to make a statement explaining. So I do.
For the whole two years that we lived there, they avoided us.
So weird, so unnecessary.”
“My sister was only 20 when she got this flat, and some old guy (in his 50s) across the way would shout things like ‘Suck my balls’ or ‘I’d do you, come here’ to her whenever she left her flat and he was outside.
My sister had called the police and landlord and told them about his harassment, and basically, they said it was his word against hers and since nothing had happened, they couldn’t really do anything. The landlord even said he had lived there for years and never had complaints about him before.
My sister got scared to leave her place and often asked friends to walk her home from work, but of course, the tricky little man would never say anything when someone else was there.
My mother had visited her one day and had shouted at him to leave her alone, but he had given her a puzzled look and just shook his head as if he didn’t know what was going on.
So I’m visiting her one day, and she’s putting out the bins when he comes out and starts shouting; he’s standing on his doorstep grabbing his balls through his pants saying, ‘Come here I have a present for you, little girl.’
He obviously didn’t see me arrive with her or thought I’d gone, I’m unsure.
Well, I’m standing in her hallway just out of sight when I hear this, so I bolt out the door, and before you know it, I’ve got the old pervert by the short and curlies. I put one hand on his throat and pin him against the doorframe squeezing his neck hard—and take into account, this guy is some 5-foot, Danny Devito looking guy if Devito had been on crack and lost 100 pounds, and I’m 6’2″ and 19 stone. The red mist descends and I’m really resisting the urge to knock him out, so I lean over and whisper in his ear:
‘Next time I hear you shout at my sister, I’m going to kick this door down and give you a beating you won’t forget, understand?’ He nods, and I literally throw him back into his flat and just leave him there crumpled in the doorway.
My sister looks at me shocked, and I sat with her for the next couple of hours expecting a visit from the police, but they never arrived.
After that my sister said she rarely even saw him again, and when she did, he would scurry into his flat. She only stayed there another 12 months before moving on to another place nearer home, but I always remember that rat and for years expected to see his name in our local press for some reason, but never did.”
When I moved in, he seemed eccentric, but harmless. Apparently, my landlord had a conversation with him and told him to leave me alone. This upset Jerry greatly. He cornered me one day while I was unlocking my door and asked me to come to sit with him in his apartment. I don’t think the place had ever been cleaned and he had hoarder mentalities. He drank a bottle of Chianti in about 30 minutes, commenting on all the sad things in his life.
Luckily, he passed out so I could leave.
A couple weeks later, he got into a 3 a.m. fight with his boyfriend, which resulted in his boyfriend trying to get into my apartment for safety and eventually breaking into an empty unit down the hall. Cops were called and Jerry was taken to jail.
About a week after that, same boyfriend was over and a fight ensued. This time it ended in very loud make-up bang sesh.
Jerry would flush things you’re not supposed to flush down the toilet and would back up sewage into mine and my neighbor’s bathtubs and bathroom sinks. Eventually, he clogged his toilet so badly that he just ripped it from the wall and left it there.
The cops came twice to my door to ask if I had seen Jerry lately and asked to search my apartment to make sure I wasn’t hiding him.
One day, while I was getting ready for work, he came into my apartment with another guy and tried to measure my walls for the ‘renovation’ he was going to do to combine his and my apartments into one unit.
But, don’t worry, I could just live with him when it was all finished.
Eventually, Jerry got evicted, but would still convince people to let him into the building. For months his mugshot was posted on all entrances saying to not let him in.”
Neighbor Turned Robber
“We had horrible neighbors at our previous residence. As first-time homeowners, my wife and I wanted to make a good impression on the neighborhood and decided after we had settled in that we would introduce ourselves to a few of the people in our new neighborhood. Most were nice and struck up conversations, but the neighbors next door to us were god awful.
When we knock at their door, a lady opened it and immediately told us that she was not interested in what we were selling and slammed the door on us. We knocked again and let her know we were just introducing ourselves, and she yelled, ‘What’s so special about you?’ So we left.
Where we lived, everyone had a driveway that could fit one car and then public on-street parking was used for additional cars.
The unwritten rule of the neighborhood was not to park in front of some else’s house unless you had permission. Most of my neighbors would ask if they could park additional cars in front of our house for parties and things like that. It was never an issue. Except for my next door neighbor. At the time, I worked the night shift, so when I got home, I wanted the parking space in front of my house (my wife used the driveway) so that I could get in quick and get to bed.
However, she would have her many ‘lovers’ park in my space, so I would have to park, sometimes, up to 3 blocks away. I confronted her one day about the unwritten rule, and she told me to ‘get bent’ and that ‘I don’t own the street.’ I figured I would use her logic against her one day, and I parked my car in front of her house.
I woke up to find my car missing. After contacting the police, I found she had it towed because she stated she was getting her sidewalk repaired and it was in the way of the workers (she never actually was getting her sidewalk repaired).
I ended up just using my wife’s car most nights afterward so I didn’t lose my spot.
My neighbor combated this by parking in my backyard. When I called the cops on her to have her vehicles towed, she stated that my backyard was her property and that I had no right to move her vehicles. Because I didn’t have any proof of the property line, the cop stated it was pretty much my word against hers and there was really nothing that he could do until we had property line proof.
Next day, I went to the town’s municipal building to get proof of the property line. It was out of date, so I could not use it, and I couldn’t afford the $3,000 fee that the surveyors wanted. So she won that one too.
Among other things, she attempted to sue us because she warped her siding while grilling too close to her house.
She tried to blame it on our windows reflecting sunlight and heat onto her siding. She lost that one. She tried to sue us for a tree on her property that fell down during a storm and crushed a small storage shed she had. She lost. She blamed us for going through her mail. Never happened.
Finally, we moved and had our house on the market.
One day, I get a call from the police. The house was broken into. We lived 3 hours away, and not all of our stuff was moved out. Police stated that another neighbor took pictures of the burglars and that they knew who it was and asked for me to come to the station to identify my property. I took a day off and traveled back to the house to assess the damage and claim my belongings.
The deadbolt on the door looked like someone tried to hammer it off and the window that they used to get in was shattered. I went to the station and got my property. When the officer showed me the pictures of the robbers, it was my terrible neighbor’s son and his 4 friends. All they stole was an Xbox 360, 10 games, and a bunch of my wife’s costume jewelry.
I was so happy to put him and his friends away. Funny enough, my neighbor pleaded with me not to press charges, and she promised to pay for everything. When I told her to ‘get bent,’ it was one of the best feelings I have ever had.”
Evil In The Flesh
“When I was 10, my neighbor—an 80-something-year-old man—shot and killed one of my dogs.
When I went looking for my dog, I asked my neighbor if he had seen him.
He told me that he shot a dog like that this morning.
Frozen, I asked where he was so I could bury him. The old man told me that his body was in the dumpster and that he would shoot me too if I didn’t get off his land.
I ran through the woods back to my house, screaming out loud in anger and punching trees until my knuckles were torn and bloody.
When I got home, I called the police and the K9 unit came out to my neighbor’s house. He retrieved my dog’s body, and I buried him.
The worst part was that my dog was very sweet. My neighbor had tied him up and broken all of his legs, then shot him point blank in the chest.
I have never felt more rage in my life. My mom took the man to court, and he was charged with animal cruelty. The judge asked how much money I thought the dog was worth. I was dumbfounded and croaked out that I didn’t want money—I wanted my dog.
The neighbor was fined $500, and I made him pay it to the local humane society.
The man had the ten commandments posted all around his house, so the next night, I took a red sharpie and circled ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ on all of his signs. My dog’s name was Hershey, he was a mutt that was born in my bedroom — he was only 2 years old and such a good boy.”
“I moved onto a dirt road with several houses on it. My friend has lived down the road his whole life. The people next to my house only come up for the summer and are never there in the winter. When summer comes, however, there are multiple potholes on the road.
Curious, I asked my friend. He said the neighbors come up in the summer and dig the holes themselves in order to ‘slow down’ traffic. They literally go out in the dead of night, like ninjas, and use shovels to dig a few good holes.
There’s never any holes elsewhere except right in front of their house, which also happens to be right in front of my house. And it’s a terrible, awful road in its own right already.
The thing is their driveway is all rocks.
So I just took their rocks and used them to fill in the holes when they were away.
Though I volunteered over the winter to foster rescue dogs. Guess who’s lawn was used as the potty?
That’s a good boy! laughs maniacally.”
“He had 2 access roads to his property (he didn’t live there, he just had livestock there) and insisted on using the one that cut through our property, despite the fact that it was the longer route and it was a literal unpaved road through the woods.
He didn’t have an easement or anything, just assumed that since he had to drive through our property to get to that crappy lane road, he was allowed to do so. He was a total prick to us for no reason, never said hi, got upset if we were too close to his property despite the fact that he literally drove through our property every day.
Revenge came when lightning struck a tree in the woods and it fell right across the access to the lane road…
On OUR property. He hired a service to chop the tree up and told them they could have the wood as part of the payment (it was nice walnut). My dad wasn’t having any of that. He walked down there with a copy of the sale documents, pointed out the marker that clearly separated our land from our butthole neighbor’s land, got the neighbor to admit that the tree in question was both from our land and currently laying on our land, not his, and then my dad sent the crew packing and told them if they took so much as a branch from that tree, it was theft and he (a lawyer) would see them in court for it.
It’s been over 15 years and that tree is still laying across the access to the lane road. He can still access his property via the other road, so he didn’t have a leg to stand on to force an easement.
Forget you, Jim.”
A Small Mistake
“He used to stand on the footpath wasted every afternoon and yell to my husband about what a horrible woman I was. Once my husband told him to go home and he shaped up to try and punch my husband, who was around 50 years younger than the neighbor.
He rang one day to be nosy check why my husband’s car was home on a workday. I politely thanked him for his call and let him know my husband was sleeping and had a cold, nothing to worry about.
Apparently, I was meant to praise him profusely for being such a caring neighbor, and my husband was meant to follow up with a call once he was awake and also lavish him with praise for caring.
Because we didn’t, we got to hear about it loudly every afternoon until we moved several months later.”
“The guy who lives three houses down from me is the grand wizard of the HOA and is a massive jerk, so he’s always fining people for the dumbest stuff. He has quite the long list of offenses.
1: He fined my parents $100 for having one tire of a car parked on our lawn.
The HOA rules are no tires can be touching the grass at any time. He then goes about parking his van dead in the middle of his lawn for sometimes days on end while he does various garage renovations.
2: HOA states you can only have a basketball hoop if it’s cemented into the ground.
We had a water base basketball hoop so he threatened to fine us if we didn’t get rid of it or cement it in. My parents said forget this and donated it to someone. He then put the same exact type of hoop in his front yard so his nieces and nephews could play with it.
3: We lost some roof tiles when hurricane Wilma hit, and he threatened to fine my parents $50 for not replacing the tiles 2 days after the storm had cleared up.
90% of the city was still without power or phone service. It was literally impossible to get them put back on that quickly.
4: He followed me to my house when I was walking home then stood about 20 feet from my front door with his arms crossed as I was walking inside.
I asked him if I could help him and he asked if I was driving on the main road outside our neighborhood a few minutes prior. I told him, ‘yes,’ and he started complaining about how my car was loud and he could hear me driving on the public roads that are in no way, shape, or form associated with our neighborhood.
I asked if he had any proof that the loud car was mine and not another loud car. He said no; he was just somehow positive it was me. I just walked inside without saying a word.
5: This one is absurd. My neighborhood is split into two halves: One with the HOA (my half) and the other without an HOA.
There are no gates or walls or signs or anything separating the two halves. It’s weird and I’m still not entirely sure why it’s laid out like this. A buddy of mine who lives in the non-HOA plagued half has a really loud blowoff valve on his car.
Obviously, it makes it’s loud sounds whenever he drives down my street towards his house. Buddy boy comes over one day while I’m mowing the lawn and tells me that if my friend down the street doesn’t do something to make his car stop hissing (that’s how he described the blow-off valve) then there would be repercussions.
I asked how that was any of my business, and he said since I knew him, I could make him stop.
At that point, I had already been hating this guy and his crap for years, so I wasn’t in any mood to pander to him.
I told him that if he had a problem with my friend’s car, which I had zero ownership or part of, then he could go talk to him himself. We got into an argument, and after a few minutes of arguing, I said ‘Whatever dude,’ put my earphones back in and kept mowing my lawn.
He kept saying I would pay for this and that I didn’t know who I was disrespecting. Nothing ever came of it and nobody got fined or anything like that. I still hate that guy though.”
“Lived next door to “Bob” for 10 years with no issues. He’s a retired prison guard, cop, military, about 70 or so. I was 25. We share views on many of life’s situations; political, legal, etc. We always got along swimmingly.
We share tools, chat now and then, but we’re not really “buds”. He spends 6.8 days a week at his GF’s house, so we never really see each other more than 2 hours a year seems like.
At the 10 year mark, a policeman walks into my backyard where I’m raking leaves. He’s there about the complaint from Bob. Huh?
We go to speak with Bob and when I ask him what’s going on, he interrupts, yelling about my kids on his lawn, me riding motorcycles on his lawn, and more. He’s fucking livid, spit flying, and he looks like he’ll have a stroke. I just looked at the cop and shrugged. We’ve all heard or read stories of neighbor spats escalating into retribution or violence, but all of his accusations are false. Completely baseless and out of the blue.
Cop says he has to give me a criminal trespass warning, so if I ever step foot on his property again, I can be arrested. I told him that’s like telling me I can’t sleep with his sister anymore. Never happened, never will. I spoke with him privately, and the best we can come up with is some mental illness, or he’s off his medication. It really was the strangest thing.
What pissed me off the most was two days later, as I’m driving away, he’s on his lawnmower, and waves and smiles at me like nothing ever happened. We’ve never determined if that was genuine because of the crazy, or he was taunting me.
That was nearly 15 years ago, and I have never spoken to him since. I keep my family away, and we leave if we ever see him. Oh, and he’s moved back home this year, so he’s baaack!”
“I just moved into my new apartment in Chicago and was woken up at 3 am to some loud knocking on my door. Given that it’s Chicago, I thought the worst and assumed someone with a loaded weapon was on the other side of that door.
A moment passes and I sit silently in my bed running through self-defense scenarios in my head. I then hear a woman yell something through my door that had me on tilt… This lady says, ‘This is your neighbor, I was just wondering if you’d like to buy some girl scout cookies.’
Naturally, I ignored her offer and proceeded to go back to sleep angry and confused. Either my neighbor was high or trying to rob me.”
“My neighbor (above me) was trying to force me to move out, so she put her speakers on her floor pointing straight down and blared them at full volume. The instant it started, I lept up in outrage at her audacity, but after a few seconds, I realized…
I really, really like this song. So I give it one song, and as it’s winding down, I prepare my outrage once again, only to be surprised when the next song is also a perennial favorite. I didn’t even bother getting upset before realizing that I liked the third song, too.
She stopped at midnight when she was legally required to. Apparently, she realized she wasn’t getting much ‘bang’ for her buck as far as irritating me/effort on her part, so she didn’t try it anymore.”
” When we moved in he was friendly enough, but a little grumpy. Fast forward two years later and he just starts flying off the handle for pretty much anything. Spent 10 minutes yelling at me/my house at one point because my wife mowed the lawn (women aren’t supposed to do that apparently, even though he would have his gf mow his)
At one point he threatened to kick my ass, have me arrested, etc. I actually called the cops on him, and all they would have done is warn him but he got lippy with them and got hauled off for who knows what exactly.
We ignored him for about a year or so after that, and all of a sudden he wants to talk one day and is super ultra nice and a little shy looking.”
“She was probably 65 or so, seemed normal and kept to herself.
Everything is fine. I help her with her computer, watch her cat, but we don’t really hang out. Now, I’ve been there for about half a year and one night I wake up from a dead sleep (around midnight) to police knocking on my bedroom door. Apparently, she says I stole her phone. Ok, maybe she’s just confused and misplaced it, panicked a little. Perhaps she’s overdramatic. Then it occurs to me, how the hell did she call them. Turns out it was on that phone. Also turns out she’s notorious for this.
Fast forward a month, I’m folding laundry and see her go into the room if our blind roommate. So I stop what I’m doing and politely mention it’s against the law to be in his room if he’s not home. She gives me this look like some kind of wild animal and scuttles away to her room. Well, that was weird. 20 minutes later up come to the police to tell me she said I went into his room to steal Suddenlink property. Now, this just pisses me off. So I tell them that I politely mentioned she couldn’t be in there and none of us had ever had Suddenlink. So she just gets a warning to stop the bullshit and proceeds to act normal for about a week. During which, I avoided her and ignored her when avoiding was impossible.
Then comes the final straw. I went to the store for some groceries. As I’m walking up the drive I see police cars, so I know a mentally ill lady is at it again. When I walk into the house I’m stopped by an officer and he starts asking me questions. When he finishes he states that old crazy bitch says I THREW her (I honestly couldn’t pick her ass up, let alone throw her) into her room and kept her hostage. Also that I was stalking her on the house (which he says you can’t even do).
I just asked if they would take her for mental evaluation with her history. The answer was no, obviously, I left as soon as possible.
Blind roommate stayed, a few years later he texted me and told me she tried to get him arrested for “threatening her with a knife”. He’s terrified because he’s black and she’s a white lady. She wound up grabbing a knife and swinging it around to demonstrate and refused to put it down. They FINALLY took her after that.
But that woman seemed so normal the rest of the time. I hope they treated her, she needed help.”
Take Responsibility, Dude
“I’ve posted on Reddit before about my upstairs neighbor who (long story short) got super heated about how I didn’t see him in the hallway and say hi once, and then blamed his outburst on the fact that laundry makes him cranky.
He drunkenly tried to get into my apartment last Wednesday afternoon, and then asked if I had a problem with him. When I explained that his behavior makes me uneasy, he called me passive aggressive (?) and then said EVERYone forgets where they live sometimes, and he’d forgotten where his apartment was because he was humming as he walked up the stairs.
It must be so paralyzing to be that allergic to admitting fault.”
Watch It, Man
His dog went through our trash and got sick. Dog ended up needing to go to the vet and told me when he bumped into me at my old job. ‘Yeah, it was like 5 grand to get her back to health. You’re lucky I don’t bill you guys.’ Mind you this guy let his dog go through everyone’s yard and shit wherever it wanted, it’s not like the dog escaped, he just willingly didn’t care.
Last time I saw him the cops were in his driveway with an apparent domestic incident.”
Gone Over The Edge
“First, they have 4 mini-Dachshunds that never shut it. I cannot even open my back door without these little dogs going off, and they just leave their dogs outside all day. I enjoy sitting outside on a nice day and reading, but nope, I can’t concentrate because of the ear-splitting constant yapping. Now, I am a dog person, I own dogs and love dogs, but this complete lack of consideration is mind-boggling.
Second, they rent (and I own), but the crazy wife told me she owns a 3′ strip of my property and they’ll be moving the fence over. I don’t have a huge yard, 3′ is a lot of space, and did I mention THEY RENT. I brought out my survey to say ‘No, you don’t own it and no, you aren’t going to be moving the fence,’ and she continued to say that they had their own survey but refused to show it to me.
Third, they seem to think it’s no big deal if they come into my yard. I came home from work to find they’d moved their water drainage into my backyard.
They complain about my tree and asked me to cut it down. I said no. They put their garbage cans in my driveway. I’ve witnessed the wife empty her vacuum cleaner in my driveway. She has blown piles of leaves that haven’t even come from my tree into my driveway. Even after I put locks on my gate, she climbed up on a ladder, LEANED OVER THE FENCE, and leaf blew all the leaves IN MY YARD AND THAT WERE ALREADY IN PILES all over my yard. After that, I put up cameras and have future plans to press charges for trespassing the next time this crazy lady pulls another stunt.
She accused me of calling the police about her daughter’s illegal car (I didn’t), and putting up a note complaining about her garbage (I didn’t). She has called the health department multiple times on me for my grass being too long (it wasn’t and the health department did not cite me).
Listen, all I want to do when I come home after a day at work is hang out with my dogs and not fucking talk to anyone or deal with anything. I don’t know what to do about her. It’s like all these little things she does that toe the line at illegal and I feel like if I call the police they’re just going to look at it as a petty neighbor squabble instead of harassment.”
Taking To Social Media
“It started by letting her kids and animals run wild in my backyard. So, I dropped $5k on a 6′ privacy fence that my father-in-law and I built. Then she had her water turned off for lack of payment and began pooping in plastic bags and throwing them over my fence. When confronted about it, she kindly denied and then took to social media. I called the landlord and had an eviction notice served the next day.
It’s been 4 years and I kept the screencaps from her profile.”
“Got his cop buddies to come put stickers on our cars claiming they were illegally parked so we had to move them so he would have room for his guests to park.
I bought a corner lot in a newer subdivision so I have curb and sidewalk on two sides of my property. The side of my house has plenty of room for parking which I sometimes use, my stepson uses, and sometimes the other neighbors I like to use. The new neighbor bought a house on the other side of the street from my side and doesn’t have a lot of street parking for his lot. He claims that the parking on my side of the road is his because it is across the street from his house.
When confronted about the fact that it is just parking and no way belongs to him, me or anybody he told us he knows people in the police department that can take care of this. He also picked this time to scream pretty specific mean things about all his new neighbors and how each one was crappy like he is watching us.
Grouchy Old Lady
“Called the cops on our then 6 yr old son because he was playing outdoors in public property. It wasn’t a road or anything. There was no danger whatsoever. He wasn’t screaming or anything, she just didn’t like kids. She also told our 3 yr old daughter that she was ugly.”
Are You Kidding Me?
“Rang my doorbell at 4am over and over and asked me to go with him because there was an emergency and it was important. Went with him and he took me over to his car and started asking what I thought of it and looked very proud.
In other words, this dude rang every apartment in the building at 4am to get people to look at his new car.”
In Over Your Head
“May not be a neighbor per se, but a fellow tenant in a shared house at university (each was a self-contained apartment with bathroom, kitchen, bedroom).
Dude started smoking weed, which I had no issue with but as I was studying law and frequently met with police as part of my criminal justice module, I requested that he keep it to his room rather than the communal areas of the house. He obliged initially.
I then went home for winter break, and upon returning I found lines of coke half done on the kitchen counter (along with even rolled up £10 notes and the semi-empty bag).
I stayed clear and later that night, ~2am, heard a knock at the door. A guy with blood dripping from his head was standing there shouting ‘ROB get your ass out here. You ripped me off.’
Turns out his habit had progressed to dealing, and his supplier to whom he owed a cut was the blood-soaked man on my doorstep barging his way in.”
Take Care Of Your Dogs, Lady
My rude next door neighbor would leave her pit-bulls out in the garden, all day, every day, with no food or water and regardless of the weather. It would be a storm and she’d leave them both outside in the rain, crying. it would be a heatwave and she’d leave them outside with no shade.
Once I picked up on it, I began to knock on her door and ask her to bring the dogs in because leaving them outside was obvious neglect. She would tell me to mind my own business but she’d yell at her kids to bring the dogs inside. OnceIi noticed that she didn’t learn her lesson, I contacted the RSPCA (the royal society for the prevention of cruelty to animals) over and over until they sent out a letter to her.
She had the fucking nerve to act like she had no idea why the RSPCA was contacting her. she came up to me in the street and was like ‘can you believe I got this letter, saying I fucking abuse my dogs?’
I kept contacting them because despite knowing that the RSPCA were watching her, she still didn’t change her behavior. she honestly didn’t care about those poor dogs. They would jump at my fence whenever I was in the garden, practically begging. My sisters would jump the fence to give them bowls of water and feed them dog biscuits whenever she wasn’t home.
One day, she was yelling and her kids were crying so I went to see what was going on and it turns out that the RSPCA were removing the dogs from her because of the neglect. Took a few months but i was so happy to see them going to a better home.
“Plugged his sink pipes with toilet paper and flooded his bathroom, flooding our apartment below him. We told him to stop and he refused to, said he was trying to destroy our apartment to get back at the landlords.
The police said it was a landlord issue and the landlord said it was a police issue. After the police asked him to stop that night (said they couldn’t do anything about it legally and that it was our problem, they were awful), the neighbor ran his sink for 2 more minutes, stomping his feet and shouting at us, causing the most flooding yet.
We called the police back and they were condescending and laughing at us, telling us to deal with it ourselves. A few days later the police, landlord, and plumber had to force his door open to fix the sink because he wouldn’t let them in without a warrant – which they came back with.
He was kicked out a month later.
I think he disliked us because on four occasions he passed out drunk cooking food in the middle of the night, setting off everybody’s smoke detectors (filling our place with smoke too), so we had to knock and wake him up, or get the police/fire dept involved when he was unconscious in a burning room and wouldn’t answer.
Not even to mention the sexual harassment of the women living here or the attempts to break into our apartment when we weren’t home.”
Dirty, Dirty, People
“Refuse to clean their flat. A family of three lived there, a woman and her two adult kids. They lived there for ten years and never cleaned anything in the place even once. The son had to bathe himself in aftershave even after a shower, the daughter had a weird phobia and outright refused to shower so whenever she was nearby, you’d know it. They had a cat and the poor thing reached the point where it would just give up on cleaning itself. Whenever the door to that place opened, the entire stairwell would reek for hours. They even had the gall to get offended when neighbors resorted to lighting incense in order to help disguise the stench. People’s shoes would get stuck in the floor in there because of the half-inch thick layer of sticky grime. They eventually got evicted and the landlord had to spend the equivalent of around 20.000 to completely renovate the place.”
A Horrible Incident
“Back when I was about 13, early on Easter morning, my next door neighbor along with his father and friend beat the hell out of his wife right next to my window. their house was probably 200 or so feet away from mine so those fuckers chased her. I woke up at about 2 am hearing my neighbor’s wife tapping on my window whispering “Help me, please help me.” At first, I thought I was suffering from sleep paralysis and having auditory hallucinations. Then the husband, his father and his friend found her and started to beat the shit out of her. I have never heard screams like that in my entire life. I ran upstairs to tell my dad and mom and my dad loaded his shotgun and went to work. He basically kicked open the front door, racked his shotgun and yelled at the top of his lungs ‘WHAT IS GOING ON OUT HERE?!’ All the men ran back to their house and left his wife bleeding and bloody under my window. When the cops showed up, they tasered my neighbor and his father because they tried to swing on the officers. Then after they were all arrested the ambulance showed up and found the woman. I caught a glimpse of her from my window and her face was basically destroyed. They beat the hell from her. She was still lucid and conscious. As they tried to move her onto the gurney she looked right at me and put her hand on the window almost to say thank you for getting your dad and calling the cops. She left a bloody handprint on my window that my mother tried to clean off immediately. That event scared the shit out of me for a long time and I still think about it often. To preface this, we lived in a private neighborhood with super-rich people and nothing like this had ever happened before so this was the talk of the neighborhood for YEARS.”
“When I was a teenager and lived with my parents we had this one neighbor family that seemed sorta off. One day the father knocks on our door and tells my parents they haven’t had power for a long time and begged to run an extension cord to one of our outside outlets for the day so his young kids could have cold milk with their cereal in the morning.
My parents agreed to do this for one day. The neighbor kept up their part and disconnected the cable after that day. A week later they hook it back up again without us noticing. A month goes by and our electricity bill is basically double what it normally is. Parents head to the backyard and find the cable plugged in, yank it out, and confront the neighbor.
At first, the father doesn’t show his whole body and cracks the door, but my stepdad gets him to open up the door after pointing out that he is concealing a gun (he didn’t have to pull the gun out). Stepdad demands an explanation as to why the cable was run to our outlet and the dude just sorta mumbles incoherently and shuts the door, locking it.
The bad neighbor family was in a duplex and their neighbor, sharing the building, comes around and asks what’s up. Parents explain the whole story and how the next step was calling the police. The good neighbor is a former police chief and is friends with the entire force, he offers to make the call.
Several cop cars arrive. Bad neighbor father and mother are arrested. Turns out they were running a meth lab inside the house. The mother was a prostitute and the kids (a boy and girl between ages 7-10) were malnourished. The kids were put into foster care.
No other bad neighbor has beat that high score yet.”
“Just recently, my new scumbag neighbors have decided to throw dirty diapers in my driveway. We know it’s them, they have the only diaper wearing child on the block. My wife tossed them back into their driveway. Two hours later the same diapers reappeared in my driveway, followed by a third that was only a few feet from my door. I told my wife to leave them to me for when I got home from work. Upon arriving home, I tossed all three diapers onto their roof, likely never to be seen again….until the humid Midwest summer bakes those fucking diapers into a glorious, colonic blasting poo storm of a smell for the frickin’ neighbors.”
Terrible Guy, Great Wife
“While we were on a holiday our neighbor who was always nice apparently didn’t like our fig tree being so close to the fence (which is fair enough). So when we came back home we were welcomed to a horrendous stench and a half dead fig tree. Turns out every day or so he dumped petrol and urine on it to kill it.
Honestly, he’s always been an ok neighbor so we never really understood why he thought this was a better idea than just talking to us. We never confronted him about it. That tree fully recovered, still had the best figs I’ve ever had and was around for another 20 years so screw him.
His wife did make the best pizza’s I’ve ever had though.
And no, the tree never damaged the fence or his precious concrete.”