People Confess Their Most Horrific Workplace Mistakes

People Confess Their Most Horrific Workplace Mistakes
Image: Sangbreeta

Medical Leave Gone Wrong

Image: Compliance Poster Company

A young accountant (around 24) made an appointment to see her manager. Both parties agree that she informed him that she would be having surgery the following day to remove and biopsy a tumor. She wanted to discuss the status of her projects and develop a coverage plan for while she was on medical leave. He wanted her to delay her surgery until after a certain project was complete.

While she was walking to Human Resources to apply for a medical leave of absence, her manager followed her and screamed at her about being insubordinate and insisted that he would fire her if she didn’t return to her desk immediately. She calmly stated that this was a medical emergency and the timing of the surgery was non-negotiable, so he fired her. In front of the director of Human Resources.

He was terminated the next day (which I did not witness). She returned to work once she had recovered enough to do so (about a month later if memory serves).

Anonymous

Fire Extinguisher Fiasco

Image: Safety and Health Magazine

Years ago, I worked for a government contractor in a torpedo manufacturing plant. The electronics were assembled in a cleanroom, which is a pressurized room that keeps dust out, and employees had to wear special suits and masks so as not to contaminate the goods. Two dudes in their 20s worked in there, and they were a couple of idiots.

Well, one day they decided, for reasons only they could explain, that it would be fun to have a fire extinguisher fight. They blasted the extinguisher material all over the cleanroom, including the precious torpedo electronics and associated million-dollar pick-and-place robot. Management was displeased, to say the least.

LottyWalrus

Boss Trouble

Image: Inc.

Our desks were separated by a 5-foot cubicle wall. My boss was under the mistaken impression that it totally blocked sound. Thus, I got to hear all his loud phone conversations, primarily his booty calls including those with his boss’s fiancé. I figured it was none of my business and tried to ignore it. Well, there was a position in another department that I was interested in and as per procedure, I handed in an application to my talkative boss.

I didn’t hear anything further and followed up a couple of days later, only to be told that something must have happened to the application. I filled out another one and handed it in. As I return to my desk, I hear the boss on the phone with a friend laughing about how he had just trashed my application again and how he was never going to let go of me.

I go to my boss’s boss and angrily offer my resignation, telling him what I had just overheard, explaining that I was constantly hearing his phone calls like his booty calls with <woman’s name> and <woman’s name> and <boss’s boss’s fiance’s name>. He got very quiet and told me to go back to my desk and he’ll take care of everything. The next day I come in and the boss is gone.

The day after, I have an interview with the other department (got the position). I tend to avoid office drama, but really, he should have stuck to screwing his boss’s fiancé, and not tried to screw me as well.

Nymaz

Allergic Reaction

Image: iStock

Well, when I worked as a waitress, there was this guy who was allergic to mushrooms. So, he ordered a bacon and egg omelet and I put in a memo saying, “No mushrooms allergic.” As if out of spite, the kitchen left one shred of mushroom in the guy’s omelet. The guy had a reaction, but luckily it wasn’t so bad that he needed to be hospitalized. I apologized profusely but I’m sure he probably thinks I tried to kill him.

anonymous

Cashier Crook

Image: SCORE.org

My first job, I worked at a grocery store. I don’t remember much, but I do remember one day when the store got crazy busy, and they had to pull people like me from other departments to work checkouts. They have me as a bagger, and the guy at the scanner is another guy that I worked with in produce. At first, I thought he seemed okay, but then…

Turns out, when this guy gave change, he’d “accidentally” pull out an extra fiver and pretend to put it back in the register when counting out change, then he’d slip it into his pocket once the customer turned around. I noticed this pretty quickly because he’s doing it with literally every customer. Even if they weren’t getting changed, he’d pull one out and act like he forgot they paid with a card.

After I noticed it, I saw him do it a couple more times and thought, “Wow. Wonder how long he can get away with that.” Not two seconds pass between me thinking that and me turning to see that night’s manager with a police officer walking towards our checkout counter. Fired on the spot and arrested to boot. He did not look happy.

BotchedAttempt

Hold the Ice

Image: Pinterest

I’m a commercial helicopter pilot. Probably the closest moment to “we’re screwed” I ever had was a few years ago. To set it up, I was ferrying a helicopter by myself to another location about 200 miles away. The helicopter I was flying was set up for IFR (instrument flying), and I’m a fairly experienced IFR captain. The helicopter I was in does NOT like ice.

That means that flying in the clouds when it’s below freezing is basically impossible. This was in the high arctic, in the early spring. So basically, always cold. Weather wasn’t great, but I still wanted to give the trip a shot. If it was bad, I would just turn around and come home. About 50 miles out, the cloud ceiling was coming down, and visibility was dropping.

I was over a small frozen lake, and I could see at the other end of the lake that the clouds were right to the ground. At this point, I’m at about 300 feet above the ground. I make the call to turn around and start a left-hand turn, but as I’m half-way through the turn, I enter a cloud. Under normal circumstances, a VFR helicopter unintentionally entering clouds is often a death sentence, but I’m a trained IFR pilot in an IFR helicopter.

I start a climb, as I know there is rising terrain on the side of the lake. I don’t mind flying in cloud. What I do mind is the fact that my helicopter starts icing up instantly. I’m not talking about a bit of ice, I’m talking about a MASSIVE amount of ice, in a helicopter that doesn’t like any ice. There is no way I can make it the 50 miles back to the airport to shoot an IFR approach, and I know the clouds are too thick to climb above them.

I also can’t descend because the ceiling is so low that I risk impacting the terrain if I don’t pop out of the cloud soon enough. I’m running through the options in my head, but my heart rate is going up. This isn’t something that normally happens. I’m not the type of pilot who gets into situations that scare me.

I’m rapidly running out of time, so I head to a larger flat-area (as indicated on my GPS and maps), set my radio-altimeter (a device that tells you exactly how far above the ground you are) to beep at me when I reach 250 feet, and start descending. I figure if I don’t break out by 300 feet, I’m in some serious trouble.

As I’m approaching 300 feet, I break out of the cloud. Good visibility, and a clear path all the way back to the airport. I do a normal approach and landing and shut-down at our hangar. The blades are covered in ice. After I change my underwear, we pull the helicopter into the hangar to let the ice thaw. The next day, the weather is beautiful, and the trip goes off without a hitch.

After flying for 10 years and thousands of hours, it was the only time I was actually scared. I’m glad I didn’t have any passengers on board at the time.

stephen1547

Audio Slip

Image: Inverse

Didn’t see it, only heard about it, but this one was one for the ages. So, I work at a radio station. Apparently one of the board-ops who worked here before me accidentally let some audio slip over the air from his computer. It happens all the time, no big deal. Unless you’re watching dirty movies…like this guy was.

DAVID_FRIGGIN_KING

Nefarious Motives

Image: Garage TBBQ

I worked at a hospital for children and came in one morning to find the security guard, who was one of my work buddies, waiting for me at my desk (I worked really early in the morning at either 5 am or 6 am). He was kind of shaken up, and it took some coaxing to get him to tell me what was wrong. When he finally did, I was stunned.

Apparently, this old guy who worked overnight at the switchboard operator desk, who I always thought was really nice since we’d sometimes cross over by an hour or two and would just chat about the world, had been caught by the security guard looking up very, very inappropriate material on the work computer. Like, incredibly inappropriate.

Keep in mind we worked at a hospital for children. Not that it is okay in any other scenario, but it was particularly frightening to know that this guy had access to patient areas and was surrounded by kids all day, some of whom did not have the cognitive capacity of normally-functioning kids and tend to be targeted more frequently by those with nefarious motives.

I had to cover the switchboard that morning when HR called him in. I never saw the old guy again and my security guard buddy had to speak with a bunch of people to verify (along with the IT department) what he had seen.

ur_favorite_dinosaur

Cupcake Chaos

Image: Taste of Home

I used to intern at a TV station. It was really small and sometimes if too many interns were booked for a show, there would be a few with nothing more to do than be an extra set of hands. When this happened, this job was often assigned to a particular intern named M, who was notorious for not caring and for being rather oblivious.

Basically, the wheel was spinning, but the hamster was dead. I have never in my life met anyone as stupid as M. I honestly could not tell if she was faking it for attention or if it was genuine. M was also a rather “thick” girl and was constantly snacking, taking extra-long lunch breaks, etc. One day, we were overbooked for interns and once again, M got the duty “help the guests on/off the show, stand there, and shut up.”

This segment had a baker. Most of our cooking guests would prep their meals on the kitchen set while the rest of the show was being filmed. The baker finished her prep early, leaving a gorgeous set of cupcakes on the counter of the set, placing them perfectly for the camera. We take a few minutes to let our floor cameras set up for the next segment, and all of us in the control room relax and chit chat.

We are interrupted with about five minutes to go by the director poking her head in. She notifies us, in disgust and bewilderment, that M was eating the cupcakes. The only cupcakes the baker had. The cupcakes that were set up PERFECTLY for the shot. With 5 minutes until filming. I remember turning to look at my shot and seeing M literally stuffing cupcake down her gullet, wiping off the fondant, and slapping it on the counter only to grab at more.

Our producer lost her mind. She practically dragged M up the stairs and chewed her out in front of the entire staff. M was whisked away to be reprimanded by the intern coordinator, and the rest of us helped the baker with the remaining cupcakes, trying to hide the massacre of fondant bunnies that had now been smeared all over the set.

The cleanup created a half an hour delay. The worst part is? The staff gets to eat the food brought by the cooks and bakers anyway. If she had just waited twenty minutes for the segment to end, she would have gotten to have as many cupcakes as she pleased. I’ll honestly never understand how someone could be so stupid.

thefreakisin

Sweet Mistakes

Image: The Daily Meal

We had two massive dip cases of ice cream at the shop at the mall. The switch to turn off the lights was very stupidly located right next to the switch to turn off the freezer. Came in one morning to find all the ice cream in puddles in the die case. My poor co-worker who accidentally flipped the wrong switch was beside herself.

It was a mess to clean up, but luckily it ultimately cost us nothing because the company refunded us for the “damaged” ice cream.

SalemScout

Crash and Burn

Image: YouTube

I worked at a nice Chevy dealer a couple of years back. It was right when the Corvette ZR1 was just getting released. We got one in that was a pre-order from one of our wealthier clients. It was one of the first off the line (Jay Leno actually has the first). Anyways, one of the salesmen thought it would be a great idea to take it for a quick spin.

I don’t know what he was thinking, or how he would even account for the miles on the car when he brought it back. This behavior, by the way, is totally unheard of and never really happens. Well, you guessed it, he crashed it. A $120,000.00 car (at the time), supercharged V8, ordered a year in advance for a customer…

ronie33

Finally Fired

Image: International Airport Review

I was working as a baggage handler (Ramp Agent is the real job title, FYI), and they’d hired a guy whom everyone hated. He was lazy, stupid, and annoying. One of the big rules when working around airplanes is you don’t go anywhere near the engines while they’re still running. They’ll suck you right in and cut you into a million little pieces in 1 second.

They put the fear of God into you about this during training, well before you get near an airplane. Once a plane pulls into the gate, you wait until you have confirmation that the engine has been turned off before you approach it. If you’re not sure, you don’t approach the plane. It’s just too dangerous to mess around with.

Well, one day, a plane pulls up to the gate, and this guy walks right up to the engine while it’s still running. People are yelling, his vest is flapping like crazy, but he’s so aloof he doesn’t notice. Someone runs up to him and yanks him back to a safe distance. They had already been building up a case to fire him, but that made it a lot easier. The supervisor walked him into the manager’s office, and he was fired right away. We all rejoiced.

Bad Impression

Image: Variety

This was at the current company I work at, about 6 years ago: dude starts on a Monday, and on Tuesday, we have our department holiday party and the dude gets pretty lit up. During a group photo, for whatever reason, this guy gets the brilliant idea to reach his arm around the woman standing next to him and grab and honk her boob.

When she loudly protested, he claimed he was just joking and that she was not who he thought she was. Well, who she was was the CMO of the company, and despite his repeated protestations that it was “all a joke,” he was promptly informed that he would have to leave the party immediately and to not bother coming back to work the next day.

The Gamble

Image: Consumer Affairs

My co-worker noticed that someone left their card in the ATM. A normal, honest person would keep the card in a safe place and try to find the owner, right? Nope. He then proceeded to withdraw as much money as he could from their account. He was arrested and fired. I heard that his reasoning was he needed to make a car payment, but he spent all his money at a casino.

pillowvpillow

Cosmetology School Meltdown

Image: LiveAbout

This happened when I was in cosmetology school. There was a newer girl on the floor who was performing her first color job. Her client wanted highlights for the summer. Well, when we get a new client in, we are supposed to take a total hair history. She failed to do this and didn’t realize the client had previously colored her hair with henna. For those who don’t know, henna + bleach = B A D.

The client’s hair literally melted off. It fell apart and looked/felt like instant mashed potato mix. There was NO saving her hair. Needless to say, it was a disaster. The girl ended up learning from the experience, but my heart broke for the client who had to literally have her head shaved because of this girl’s screw up.

SHOWMEYAKITTIES

Aviation Mistake

Image: Grist

My dad is a pilot. Half the passengers in this story had no idea about the mistake, while the other half likely pooped themselves. My father was a captain for Eastern Airlines and told a story about almost being at takeoff speed when another commercial jet taxied across his runway. He was going too fast to abort, so he had to pull up early and only cleared the other plane by feet.

His passengers had no idea, but the other plane’s passengers saw everything. I don’t know what ended up happening to the other pilot, but my dad got an apology call from him that evening.

HarborMaster1

Employee No One Wants

Image: Success Resources Australia

I worked in a doctors office and we had a maternity leave that was being covered by help. Well, one person who came to help cover the office had been passed from office to office because she couldn’t do anything right, she couldn’t take a patient back in under 20 minutes, she couldn’t file paperwork, it was just bad. So she arrives at our office and we put her answering phone calls, she answered the phone, “This is doctor X’s office can I take your order.” My manager lost it and told her to leave and never come back.

The worst part, she called the boss and asked for a new assignment, he had to repeat 3 times that she was fired and there was no new assignment. She genuinely did not understand what you’re fired meant.

kelskoche

Team Wipeout

Image: Reader’s Digest

I watched an entire engineering team get fired on the spot during a meeting with the CEO, about ten years back.

We were working on developing a new chip as a successor to the company’s current offering. The old chip had been developed on an expensive process (meaning more advanced technology was used in making the wafers, thus increasing the cost), and the CEO was adamant that the new chip is made cheaper.

To keep the story short, let’s just say the new process wasn’t working, and during a status meeting with the CEO the team leader tried to argue we needed to scrap a lot of the existing work and go with the more expensive process. The CEO wasn’t having it, cursed out the team lead in front of all the VPs, and fired nearly the entire group. Only a couple of us were kept around to keep the previous chip on life support.

After a few years of steadily losing market share, we tried again, paying millions of dollars to buy a new team with a new IP. And the first thing they did was switch us to a more expensive process, just like the first team had tried to do.

UncleVatred

Silverware Stealer

Image: The GW Hatchet

In high school, I worked at Perkins. First as a dishwasher, then as a cook. One night, I was the only cook, and the dishwasher was getting close to leaving. I told him to finish the dishes currently waiting, then he could go.

After he left, I found several hours worth of silverware in the garbage, covered with a light layer of food to hide it. I called his house and told him not to come back. I had no power, but he really needed to be fired and it felt good to do it. Officially, he was a no-show, since I couldn’t actually fire him.

The next night, I told the assistant manager what had happened and what I did, so he called in a replacement and everyone was happy.

LiveRealNow

MIA Manager

Image: Unity Marketing

I used to work at a store in the mall where the manager didn’t bother coming in on some days, other days she’d come in late. Well, one day she was scheduled to open the store alone and I was scheduled at 2 pm to close. I get to the store at 1 since I wanted to get some new shoes and… She hadn’t bothered showing up to open the store. I called the district manager and she asked me to open the store and told me that she’s dealing with the situation.

Turns out the manager had a medical condition and she’d been at the hospital that morning. Or so she claimed… This went on for a few months and in that time I got an offer to work at the store directly next to my original store. I took the job and a few weeks later as I’m coming into my new store I see my old district manager sitting on a bench outside the old store. About an hour later I see the manager walking towards the store and when she sees the district manager she turns pale. The district manager gets up asks for the manager’s keys, gives her get the final check and tells go home. I had front row seats, it was magnificent.

I later got the full story from my former coworker, turns out that manager did have a medical condition, but she lied about hospital visits and was actually going through a rough divorce and was staying home to improve her marriage rather than working. On the day the manager got fired the district manager called the store at opening time and the manager answered and said she was at the store. The district manager had her doubts and decided to go and verify that she was actually there, to no one’s surprise she wasn’t. She had however set up the stores phone to forward calls to her cell…

The real kicker to this story is that the manager was the one that made the work schedule…

RealCaribou57

Holiday Honk Gone Wrong

Image: Kiplinger

I’ve written about this one on here before – this was at the current company I work at, about 6 years ago: dude starts on a Monday, and on Tuesday, we have our department holiday party and the dude gets pretty lit up. During a group photo, for whatever reason, this guy gets the brilliant idea to reach his arm around the woman standing next to him and grab and honk her boob. Well, she loudly protested, he claimed he was just joking and that she was not who he thought she was. Well, who she was was the CMO of the company, and despite his repeated protestations that it was “all a joke”, he was promptly informed that he would have to leave the party immediately and to not bother coming back to work the next day. I will never forget that example of sheer drunken dumbfuckery till the day I die.

VictorBlimpmuscle

Mismanaged Mystery Shopper

Image: Wonderopolis

A girl I worked with did NOT deserve to be fired on the spot, but I was still there when it happened.

We worked at a large arcade restaurant, in the redemption room. We were mystery shopped, and this girl forgot to ask if the shopper wanted their extra tickets on a ticket saver card (as opposed to the slip that normally prints out)

IIRC our franchise owner was in the building when we received our mystery shop score, and he had the manager fire the girl. She had just come in for her shift and ran out crying. I remember feeling so bad for her, because just two days prior to her alternator went out.

Beccabooisme

Bye Bye Boss

Worked at a Nissan dealership for a few months. General incompetence and a service manager who was extremely unpleasant. He had been a service advisor and took his authority WAY too seriously.

Dealerships have these things called Friends and Family day, where regular customers come in and get discounts. Problem was, Dumb Boss decides to schedule it for two days before Christmas. Half our crew had vacation time they were gonna use. Boss calls everyone in. “No one gets to use their holidays this season except management since our numbers are down.” Basically tells the entire service staff the only one getting a Christmas is him. Mandatory attendance or automatic firing. The entire service crew got together and agreed that no one shows up at all. No advisors, no parts guy, NO ONE.

They forgot to tell me and one other guy, who didn’t show up anyways because of alcohol.

I show up for work. There is a thirteen car line out the door and almost sixty people waiting on me to change their oil. Boss is furious. Tells me I have thirty minutes to get all these cars done or I’m fired. Physically impossible. I tell him to shove a wrench up his ass and go back upfront. I busted my ads and did almost 19 oil changes in 4 hours. He refused to let me take a break and screamed at me when I went to use the bathroom. Most of these customers yelled and screamed at me, since there was no advisor except him, and he locked himself in his new office. I finally say ‘fuck it’, call the General Manager at his house, explain what’s going on. Eight minutes later he comes roaring in the parking lot and storms into Dumb Boss’ office. Ripped this guy a new one so deep NASA uses the gravity to accelerate particles at CERN. Dumb Boss is sent home. General Manager starts taking over, helps me get everything sorted out. He was cool, brought pizza and kept things smooth (ish). Worked a 16-hour shift almost nonstop.

Next day, Christmas Eve. Dumb Boss calls me at 6 AM. I ignore it. He leaves a message telling me I’m fired for making him look bad. Tells me he’s taking my tools as payment for his lost bonuses. Oh, HELL no. Spend Christmas extremely angry.

I go in the day after Christmas and talk with the General Manager and playback the message. Dumb Boss is escorted off the property and banned for life from any associated dealership in his chain (which means pretty much everybody in the area). I get my job back, a healthy late Christmas bonus and a few extra days off. Last I heard Dumb Boss was selling junkyard parts three towns over.

Paretio

Don’t Drink and Work

Image: NY Post

Literally happened today. I work for my city’s water department. Every once in a while, you have to put in 2 weeks of on-call time, in case there’s any water leaks or general maintenance problems. Early this morning at about 2 or 3 AM, the guy who was on call was piss drunk (mistake #1) and got called in. He decided “I’m just gonna go” (mistake #2). So he got in the brand new company call truck (mistake #3), and heads that way. Well on the way there, he sideswiped another vehicle that had someone on it and knocked the side mirrors off of both vehicles. Drunk coworker decides to get out, grab the mirror off the ground, throw it in the back of the truck, and drive off (mistake #4). He drives to another coworkers house to have that guy bring him to our shop. Now keep in mind that he was in a very obvious work truck so the guy he hit knew where he worked. Well, when drunk coworker got to the shop, there the police were. Our bosses let him go as soon as they found out.

Anonymous

Dental Walkout

Image: Ask the Dentist

I was at my dentist’s office years ago, and he stepped out of the room for a moment. One of his assistants caught him (So I saw nothing, but heard everything) and demanded her paycheck. He said, “We’re not doing this in front of patients. See me at the end of the day, please.” She said, “We’re doing this right now!” And he said, super calmly, “Alright. You’re fired. Get your things and leave.”

And he came back in the room, never said a word about it, and remained chill as hell. I don’t know that she deserved it, actually, because I have NO context, but I was just sitting in the chair, blinking. (He was a good, personable dentist if that matters

bramblefae

An Unfortunate Info Slip

Image: Mirror

This was my at my wife’s (then fiancé) work, but the employee was one of my good friend’s boyfriend at the time. We basically got him the job since he moved here to be with my friend after they had been in a long-distance relationship for almost a year.

He worked in the sales department and my wife in marketing, and it was a small but successful athletic apparel company. He had been working there for only a few months – my wife said she got a weird vibe from him, being creepy and just odd. My friend who was dating him, however, said nothing but praise.

One day on his last week my wife and I were having dinner, and she said that something terrible happened that day, starting from the past weekend. Apparently, they had lost some inventory, as it was unaccounted for on Monday. Her boss told her that there were no signs of intrusion, however, and that the only key card that accessed the company was our mutual friend’s boyfriend who had only been there a relatively short time. Sketchy, but there wasn’t any evidence.

Long story short, the CEO set up a trap after they found that piece of information and caught him – he was stealing from the company, selling the items online to pay for expenses like shoes and clothes. The cops were brought in, he was immediately fired and taken out in handcuffs. My wife, witnessing the whole ordeal, was mortified, and the guy had the nerve to tell her not to tell his girlfriend, my good friend, about the situation. She was appalled, and told him, while he was handcuffed, that he needed to man up and tell her himself.

Fast forward 6 months. We were trying to nail down our wedding guest list, and my wife was very honest with me – she didn’t want him being there, as they were still dating at the time. I told her I’d talk to my friend and explain the situation. When I called her, asking her in the best way I could to not invite her boyfriend that screwed over my wife’s company, she very blatantly asked me “what are you talking about?” My heart dropped. I said, “you know when your boyfriend left athletic company 6 months ago?”

She told me honestly that she had no idea he left, that just the other day he said he was getting a promotion in the same company. I told her he was actually fired and has been for 6 months, and that she needed to discuss the situation with him. I felt so bad for her because she then had to go since he was pulling up to her house.

One of the worst experiences of my life.

Untreysible

Too Honest

Image: Madison

I got fired on the spot when I was a bagger like 15+ yrs ago at a grocery store. I was telling the customer how we found a bunch of dead rats under the checking stands when we moved them the other day. Can’t recall why.

The manager joined her on the way out to the car to help groceries, assumed was a friend or something. Anyway, it turns out it was the owner’s wife. I was told to go home and not come back.

Damaging Company Property

Image: John Pavlovitz

A guy on our assembly line was known for his awful temper. One day he just totally loses his mind over some little thing and proceeds to punch part of the machine. It was a brittle fiberboard type thing, and it just breaks down the middle. That part was worth 40 grand and stopped production for a couple of days. He was none too gently escorted off the property

Reconx617

Breakfast Denied

Image: Reader’s Digest

I used to work in a hotel with a continental breakfast. The owner of the hotel came in for a meeting with the managers and wanted to grab some breakfast before it was cleaned up because breakfast had ended. He went in and the girl working breakfast told him to get out of the breakfast area, people are allowed to stay in the breakfast area but she was trying to kick him out and was being rude about it. He responded with “excuse me” and she swore him up and down and threatened to forcefully remove him herself. Fired on the spot. I would say she may have been having a bad day but she was always a moody cunt. I was glad to see her go especially since she filed a false report and had me written up because I refused to let her yell at me and blame me for something I didn’t do.

envirex

Sleeping on the Job

Image: Flickr

A lifeguard caught sleeping on the job. I was the supervisor and had received reports from longtime gym members that one of my opening guards was tucking in a corner of the natatorium for a nap once he’d finished opening up, so I walked in unannounced at 0630 one morning. Sure enough there he was, using her rescue tube as a pillow. I shook him awake, took the tube, told him to clock out and I’d mail him last paycheck.

That was the day I learned what “crushed” looks like on a person’s face, but he’d committed the lifeguard equivalent of an unforgivable sin. I tried not to feel bad about it.

in_flagrante_delicto

Liar, Liar

Image: IEEE Spectrum

Lied about having a disability. He had hearing aids and seemed really awkward and quiet. We figured he just was new and shy, so we did our best to assimilate him and show him the ropes.

The third day, or so, he told someone on the team that his “hearing aids” were actually disguised headphones, and he used them to slack off during meetings, acting like he was paying attention.

He admitted this. At work.

Well, word got to his manager very quickly and he was fired later that day.

hirolord

Hydration Blunder

Image: KVEW

I was a cart wrangler for Walmart and it was one particularly hot day in Texas. Must have been 104 and had just finished bringing in some carts but was really thirsty. I was heading to the water fountain when the assistant manager asks what I was doing. Told him getting a drink then heading out there. He said I couldn’t get a drink needed to be out there because guests were complaining no carts. I said I will but I need water. He said to get out there now or no job. I said ok screw you. He said you really want to lose your job? I said sure walked away and drank some water. I was walking out of the store to my car when he comes after me and demands my orange safety vest. I gave it to him and said you can get your own carts now.

zolome1977

Buffet Denied

Image: Twitter

As a child, we went out to Pizza Hut with my great grandmother. It was almost time for the lunch buffet to close, but we told the person who sat us we would just eat what was up there and understood that there would be no new pizzas. She got our drinks, and we went to the buffet.

A few seconds later our waitress comes out and starts yelling. My cousins, great grandmother and I were about to start eating, but apparently, we couldn’t have the buffet. Even though the other employee told us we could. We said no problem, we’ll just leave. Then the waitress got even more upset that we weren’t going to pay for the soft drinks (most of which hadn’t been drunk) and started cussing. In front of my great grandmother.

The kids got sent out, but the manager got involved and the waitress got fired on the spot and we didn’t have to pay for the drinks. We didn’t eat at that Pizza Hut for years afterward.

Aerokicks

Sneaky Employee

Image: Reader’s Digest

I arrived early to a movie showing of a blockbuster/mainstream film. It had been a couple of weeks since it premiered, so the audience wasn’t too big.

A teenaged employee subtly came through (without his uniformed hat) & walked down to open the emergency exit door next to the screen. Obviously, these doors aren’t alarmed, to allow patrons to exit directly to the parking lot after the movie. Upon the worker opening the door, another plainclothes teenager quickly rushed in. Just as the two turns to come back up, I notice that oddly the door isn’t closed. In behind them comes a uniformed adult, who I can only assume was the manager, who tells them something inaudible.

The teenagers turn immediately around & begin talking to the man. The conversation is brief. The plainclothes kid fast-walks out the exit door. The teen employee takes off his shirt & starts walking up towards the entry door to the theater, the manager quick behind. The teen stops & turns to the audience. A commercial is playing onscreen, but he shouts over it “THE DOG DIES!”. The manager insists: “you need to GO” & the two of them walk out. I had actually come to see the movie “Valkyrie” with eyepatch-bearing Tom Cruise. The kid must’ve thought we were the matinee for “Marley & Me”.

creepyinceltroll

Double Dose of Unemployment

Image: NewsHub

I work for a cellphone company. I was working with my manager, two new employees, and another coworker.

I’m standing with my coworker and manager, and the two new employees are standing off at the other side of the store at a desk with the landline phones waiting for incoming customer calls.

We are currently helping my one coworker with a customer. The store gets a call, and apparently, these two new workers get into a scuffle as to who gets to answer the phone? One thing leads to another and the one guy punches the other new guy right in the d—k???

The guy who gets punched immediately drops to the floor and starts screaming and calling the other a  _____. All the while another customer is in the store and the phone is ringing away. Both new employees weren’t really working out and were kind of on thin ice, to begin with. Manager fired them right after the customer was out of the store. Some would say the guy who got punched didn’t deserve firing but the way he laid on the floor screaming for five minutes was a bit overkill.

SnizzPants

The Truth Will Get You Fired

Image: The Telegraph

My family owns a restaurant. One girl kept calling out sick, texting past midnight. I guess she forgot we were Snapchat friends because I’d see her partying on there before she called sick.

One day we were all closing up when she said her father had passed away and couldn’t work next week, but my dad had to remind her that she’d already used that excuse last month and she was going to be let go.

The next day her parents (both alive!) came in to plead for her job back. My dad tried so hard not to laugh.

spcfnk

Bugged Out

Image: FreePik

We hired a developer to help us build a website for our startup. As a developer myself, I have to say the guy’s work is a mess and he completely screwed up the website I started but couldn’t work on fulltime.

So, my associate and I were discussing some bugs we’ve found with him, listing everything he should be fixing by Friday (it was on a Monday) for he was already behind schedule. I was being nice with him even though we had to reschedule the entire release because of his recurring mistakes.

When we finished, he threw his pen on the table and said, “well, I just hope nobody dies because of this misplaced input. I’ll make sure to attend the funeral”.

At that moment I realized that was his last day working with us.

Anonymous

Lost and Fired

So, the time between when the action occurred and when he got fired was not instant, but once management found out, he was.

Guy spent a weekend in Oakland for a Raiders game. Calls the supervisor late that night saying he won’t be into work the next morning because he “got lost and ended up in Sacramento and is going to stay the night there.” Whatever, no big deal, at least he called ahead.

So, most of us drive company pickups for work, and as such fill out a form so our company gets a copy of our DMV printout on an annual basis. Our HR department is so clueless that for a few YEARS, they didn’t check these. Eventually, we get a new manager who actually knows to look at these things. Turns out, homeboy didn’t get lost, he got a DUI and managed to hide it from the company for YEARS. The moment they asked about it, he admitted to it and was fired on the spot.

d0r13n

Disney Don’t

Image: Succeed Feed

I watched a VP at Disney get fired on the spot and walked out of the building when someone sent HR video of him groping a clearly inebriated low-level QA tester at a holiday party.

The guy was universally well-liked, had a legendary performance record, and was a larger-than-life personality that had been there nearly 10 years. One video and he was gone. Disney’s doesn’t mess around with that stuff. (As they shouldn’t.)

This was about 6 years ago. It’s also why I wasn’t surprised when they summarily canned bigger fish like John Lasseter and James Gunn later on. Watching it happen was swift and brutal.

ReshKayden

Clueless and Laid Off

Image: Medical News Today

When I worked in a university accounting office. This was an older gentleman, around 50 or so, and he seemed nice enough, but something was definitely off. This guy was flaky as hell. He’d sometimes just show up an hour or two late with no warning, and his explanations for why he was late didn’t make any sense.

He also didn’t seem to understand basic instructions and would make the same mistake day after day after day for like a month straight. He barely got anything done, he would make excuses for everything and anything. The work was piling up all the time. He didn’t seem to understand basic math… working in accounting. The mistakes he was making would back us up even further because someone would inevitably have to fix what he was doing wrong, or sit and walk him through his job. Pretty much every day.

One day he just didn’t come back after lunch. Was he coming back? Did he quit? We had no idea. No one could get in contact with him.

Boss started working on getting a job posting up. He shows up a couple of days later acting like nothing was wrong. My boss at the time who was one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met basically told him to get the fuck out of the building.

ThatCrippledBastard

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